(By Nathan Williams)

Unless you’ve been hiding in a cave for many years you understand how important athletic competition is to our culture. I can’t even begin to count how many hours I spent during the first 18 years of my life playing or watching sports. My dad was the athletic director at my school and the varsity basketball coach. When my brother and I weren’t playing basketball, we were probably playing soccer or baseball. If for some reason we weren’t participating in a sporting event, it’s no doubt because we were watching it live or on television.

I’m pretty sure my experience was not abnormal. Our society is consumed with sports. Parents push their kids to reach the limit of their athletic potential and children dream about one day being professional athletes.

With so much emphasis in the broader culture given to sports, it’s amazing that Christians haven’t given more time and effort to discussing the place of athletics in the life of the believer. That’s why I am so thankful for Stephen Altrogge’s book Game Day for the Glory of God.

In this book, Altrogge guides the reader through a number of biblical principles that directly apply to sports. He helps us to think biblically about athletics and not to simply adopt the mindset of the culture. As he discusses these principles he provides powerful examples from the world of professional sports and takes the reader into his own struggle to think biblically about athletics.

As I read this book I found myself consistently thinking how valuable it would have been for me and a host of other young people who consistently failed to honor God with the way we played sports. Early on, Altrogge reminds the reader that God genuinely cares about the way we play sports. God cares when we play with humility and kindness. It honors Him when we reflect Christ on the court or the field. It also glorifies Him when we play hard. God isn’t pleased by a lazy athlete.

Altrogge helps the reader understand that God is the source of all talent and physical ability. From the Super Bowl to the backyard Thanksgiving football game, sporting events are filled with pride over self-accomplishments. Pride and athletic accomplishment are so intertwined in our society that it may even be difficult for some readers to understand how one can play sports without an arrogant, all-about-me attitude. Of course, it is possible to play sports to the glory of God and only then will Christians truly enjoy the abilities God has given them.

I would certainly recommend Game Day for the Glory of God to Christian athletes, but would also challenge coaches to read it with their teams. The coach of a team sets the tone for the attitude of the team. With the proper perspective on the season and what God wants to accomplish through the players, a coach can dramatically impact his players for Christ.

This book should also be required reading for every parent whose child will participate in sports at any level. Many times parents are worse sinners when it comes to sports than their children. At the end of this book there is a chapter written by C. J. Mahaney on fathers, sons, and sports. It is an excellent look at how C. J. walks his son through thinking biblically about both playing and watching sports.

Overall, Game Day for the Glory of God is a concise and helpful read that will inform your thinking from Scripture on this crucial but rarely addressed topic.

(By Kurt Gebhards)

* Kurt serves as the Pastor of Children’s Ministries at Grace Church.

One dynamic of Children’s Ministries at Grace Community Church is that most of the children we minister to come from Christian families. Many of them are blessed with the sound and systematic teaching from God’s Word both at home and in the church, and even sometimes in school. This is something to be grateful for, but it also presents a unique challenge to those of us in Children’s Ministries. While the world breeds rebels, the church can unwittingly breed hypocrites.

It is the sad testimony of church history that the works and expressions of sacrificial love and devotion of one generation of Christians can quickly turn into legalistic rules and regulations for the next. The convictions of the first generation become the caprice of the second. It is sad and shameful how quickly the Object of wonder and worship of a generation can become the boredom and betrayal of the next. Hypocrisy is an imminent and evident threat to the church of Jesus Christ.

Churched children are seldom given to outright defiance of authority; they are much more susceptible to the poison of Pharisaism. Hypocrisy in the heart is much more difficult to spot than disobedient behavior. The Bible gives us some definite character traits of the pretentious pietist, and here is what they may look like in a child:

His outward behavior and adherence to rules are driven by a desire to please men, not by a love for God with all his heart, soul, mind and strength (Mk. 12:30).

Doing good works and having them observed by adults is more important than the action itself (Mt. 6:5).

The child is openly obedient and responsive — asking to pray before bedtime with you — while maintaining a quietly deceitful and rebellious attitude (Gal. 6:7).

He scrupulously observes the letter of the law — like religiously bringing his Bible to church — but neglects the weightier spirit of the law — like sharing his favorite toys with his siblings (Mt. 23:23).

He craves the verbal praises and tangible rewards of his parents and teachers, but cares little for the approbation of God Himself (Jn. 12:43)

Left unchecked by the grace and Word of God, by the time such a child reaches his teenage years, hypocrisy can have entrenched itself.

This teen prefers well-defined, black and white rules, for they give him a sense of certainty that God must surely reward those achievements (Lk. 18:12).

He adds a layer of rules to the Word of God (like not watching any movies, not listening to popular music, et cetera), giving the impression that he holds to a higher standard than Holy Scripture (Mt. 23:4).

He tends to propose personal preferences as, or elevate them above, divine imperatives (Mt. 15:2-3).

He pursues perfectionism (Phil. 3:6), not excellence (Phil. 3:12-14).

He separates himself from others he considers of lesser cultural morality — people whose table manners, courtesy of speech, and refinement of mannerisms do not match middle-class norms (Lk. 15:1-2).

He is judgmental — he excels at fault-finding, he loves to pick verbal fights — and the standard by which he condemns others is not primarily biblical, but personal, preferential, or traditional (Mt. 7:5). He fights against many people, against many issues, but he does not know who he is fighting for.

Hypocrisy is the pretense of virtue or piousness that is contrary to one’s real character. And make no mistake, hypocrisy spreads like an unseen cancer. Everything appears alive and spiritually vital, then suddenly, the person is dull –and soon dead. The Lord specifically warned His disciples, “Beware of the leaven of the Pharisees, which is hypocrisy.” (Lk. 12:1) Since hypocrisy is hidden deep within the recesses of the heart, it goes on unchecked and will hollow out its victim from the inside.

One of the dangers is that these outwardly compliant children receive much approval from parents and teachers. So they are encouraged to continue the duplicity unless anti-hypocritical measures are employed. We can certainly teach and militate against hypocrisy in the following ways:

Instead of just dealing with external behavior issues, we should seize every opportunity to help children understand that it is their hearts that generate their actions (Mt. 15:19). In His judgment of man, God looks at the heart (1 Sam.16:7). We should never equate occasions of good behavior (professions of love for Jesus, acts of compliance, et cetera) with saving faith in Jesus. We need to go beyond fixing wrong behavior to helping the child understand that his evil heart can only be changed by the Lord in regeneration.

Emphasize the affections of NT religion. Make sure that we are not just aiming at a young person’s understanding, but that we reach for the heart and its affections.

Do not encourage children to exhibit their talents and gifts to impress others. They should be reminded that all that they are and have are gifts of grace from God (1 Cor. 4:7), and they should not regard themselves more highly than they ought (Rom. 12:3).

Teach the truth about integrity — which comes from the word for “integer” or “whole.” For a child with integrity, whichever way you turn them, they look they same. Who they are at church, is who they are in school, is who they are at home. This is what our kids should be.

Do not be afraid to share our spiritual and moral failures with children in instances where they can identify with our shortcomings. This allows us to be authentic with them. It also allows us to demonstrate our response to God when we have done wrong, and our reliance on Him to continue molding our hearts.

Be authentic in your love for Christ. Genuine desire for Christ is not easily faked. Let your zeal be a barometer by which they measure their own affection for Christ.

Hypocrisy is an insidious danger in Children’s Ministries today. It also threatens each individual home. As parents, it is our job to honor the intention of Psalm 78:4-6:

We will not conceal [the Word of God] from their children, But tell to the generations to come the praises of the LORD, and His strength and His wondrous works that He has done, that they should teach [the law] to their children, that the generation to come might know, even the children yet to be born, That they may arise and tell them to their children.

Many people have read J.C. Ryle’s incredible little book A Call to Prayer. Perhaps not as many people have read Ryle’s equally important little book entitled The Duties of Parents. Easily read in one sitting, this short book brings incredible insight to those who desire to parent according to biblical principles.

Ryle begins the book by explaining the biblical command to train up children in the way they should go. He says people rarely followed this command during his day and this failure was a serious omission. Many parents act like hypocrites. They can quickly point out wrong in the parenting decisions of others, but fail to recognize their own shortcomings. Ryle understands parenting to be one area in which we all desperately need the insight of other believers. Our own judgment proves far to flimsy and our own prejudices far to strong.

The bulk of the book is made up of sixteen hints about the right training of children. Ryle expresses the purpose of his book by saying, “Be very sure, if you would train children for heaven, they are hints that ought not to be lightly set aside.” (p. 3) Considering that this book was written in the 1800’s, the hints which Ryle gives are supremely beneficial, even to today’s reader.

Sound theology forms the foundation for the hints offered. For example, the first hint offered tells the reader; “If you would train your children rightly, train them in the way they should go, and not in the way that they would.” (p. 3) By pointing out the difference between should and would, Ryle highlights the natural bent of man to sin. Parenting must operate within the framework of a biblical view of sin. Children must be trained in the pattern of life in which they should go, because if left to the way in which they would go, they would plunge deeper and deeper into sin.

The placing of this hint first shows us the importance of understanding the doctrine of depravity and how it will affect our parenting. Raising children to the glory of God cannot be something done haphazardly. Because children are born already walking on the road to destruction, our parenting must be done with purposeful passion to point them toward the cross.

Ryle goes on to give fifteen more hints which can each be meditated on and applied in a variety of ways. Here are some of the other hints which are given throughout The Duties of Parents. Hint number three says, “Train your children with an abiding persuasion on your mind that much depends upon you.” (p. 6) Number seven instructs, “Train them to habits of diligence, and regularly about public means of grace.” (p. 14) And hint number nine says, “Train them to a habit of obedience.” (p. 19) Ryle gives each hint, explains what each one means, then challenges parents to practice the principle he has just expounded.

The Duties of Parents provides basic but timeless instruction to parents seeking to walk in obedience to the Lord. I believe this small book will stimulate parents to remember what they are responsible to be doing in the process of raising children. Ryle states each hint simply and profoundly in a way which will capture the attention and encourage obedience. Here are some instructive quotes from the book:

“As a minister, I cannot help remarking that there is hardly any subject about which people seem so tenacious as they are about their children. I have sometimes been perfectly astonished at the slowness of sensible Christian parents to allow that their own children are in fault, or deserve blame. There are not a few persons to whom I would far rather speak about their own sins, than tell them their children had done anything wrong.” (p. 2)

“Remember children are born with a decided bias towards evil, and therefore if you let them choose for themselves, they are certain to choose wrong.” (p. 3)

“Kindness, gentleness, long-suffering, forbearance, patience, sympathy, a willingness to enter into childish troubles, a readiness to take part in childish joys, these are the cords by which a child may be led most easily, these are the clues you must follow if you would find the way to his heart.” (p. 4)

“Try hard to keep up a hold on your child’s affections. It is a dangerous thing to make your children afraid of you.” (p. 6)

“We depend, in a vast measure, on those who bring us up. We get from them a colour, a taste, a bias which cling to us more or less all our lives.” (p. 7)

“Precious, no doubt, are these little ones in your eyes; but if you love them, think often of their souls.” (p. 8 )

“Idleness is the devil’s best friend.” (p. 22)

“Instruction, and advice, and commands, will profit little, unless they are backed up by the pattern of your own life. Your children will never believe you are in earnest, and really wish them to obey you, so long as your actions contradict your counsel.” (p. 30)

(By Jesse Johnson)

Today, a teenager is considered a “good kid” if he gets good grades, gets into a good college, and stays out of trouble. In a culture where the perceived norm for high school students is drugs and detentions, making the honor roll is an accomplishment worthy of a bumper sticker. But the sad reality is that at many schools even the honors classes are so dumbed down that merely showing up and turning in all the work gets you an A. So if a student gets straight A’s, plays a sport and joins a club he is considered top-notch. And if he regularly attends church, well . . . that is even better.

Alex and Brett Harris (yes, the younger brothers of Joshua Harris, and yes, the Joshua Harris) have noticed this trend. They have noticed that teenagers are consumed by low expectations, and by and large have bought the myth that reaching a bar knee-high is something to be proud of.

The Harris brothers point out that this expectation of worthlessness has produced years of wasted potential. In their book, Do Hard Things, they expose this culture of mediocrity as the teenager’s enemy. They make it clear that the victims in this are teens who squander their first opportunities in life to excel — to do things that count for eternity.

Where did this culture come from? They blame “the myth of adolescence” (a term Al Mohler and Rick Holland have been using for years). They assault the idea that there should a be a time period between being a kid and being an adult, and that in that fictional time period it is acceptable to squander your years staying out of trouble, instead of seizing them to serve God.

The first way the myth gets teens to waste their life is by convincing them that being above average is actually something to be proud of. Excellence is defined by getting good grades in easy classes, and if the classes are to hard, at least trying to get good grades should be sufficient. The second way, the Harris brothers say, is by getting teens to be known for what they don’t do, rather than what they do. “Tim doesn’t do drugs or get in trouble at school — what a good boy he is!”

This book is refreshing because it is unlike most other books written for teens; it challenges them with real challenges. It challenges both the myth and the culture of mediocrity the myth creates. And it encourages teens to try things at which they might very well fail. In this vein it reminds me of John Piper’s Don’t Waste Your Life.

The Harris brothers are 19, and they write for a teenage audience. I heard someone say that this book would be suitable for adults to read, but I’m not sure how the Harris brothers would take that. After all, the point of the book is that teenagers need to grow up and act like adults. If culture has set the bar too low for adults too, well that almost misses the point of what the Harris brothers are trying to say. They are not calling teens to rise to the level of the average adult — they are calling teens to excellence.

The most helpful part of the book for me was a section highlighting examples of hard things to do. There are five categories of hard things given, and while I won’t give you the list here, I will tell you that they range from making your bed and working out consistently to ending childhood poverty in Africa. The most common example the book gives, and some might find this the book’s most obvious weakness, is political activism. The Harris brothers themselves worked on a campaign for a state supreme court candidate, and the longest example in the book is about a girl who ran a county-wide election in Colorado.

The appendix of the book is an explanation of how the Gospel fits into this call to do hard things, and it is very evangelistic. I would have liked to see the Gospel at the front end, and I would have liked to see them show in each section how the call to follow Christ fits in with the overall message to teens. But this is a minor concern, and the book is replete with Scripture passages and allusions, so it is not as if they were trying to obscure the Christian message. I just wish it would have been more integrated to the theme.

I would recommend this book be given high school students, and the younger the better. It could be a good graduation gift, but at that point the thrust of the book would already be in a person’s rear-view mirror. It is more suited for freshman. Those who read it will be challenged to escape the trappings of modern-American adolescent mediocrity.

Finally, the Harris brothers have a website, http://www.therebelution.com/, which is an excellent source of information and forums for Christian teens. It is worth exploring, and youth pastors especially will mind much that is helpful there.

Here at Grace Community Church, we are firmly committed to believers’ baptism — meaning that we do not see Scriptural precedent for the baptism of unbelievers, including infants. (We would agree with John Piper that if our covenantal brethren applied their reformed view of baptism/circumcision consistently, they too would abandon the practice of infant baptism. But that’s for another post — like the earlier series by Matt Waymeyer. Those who want to think through the baptism issue are also encouraged to listen to this debate, between John MacArthur and R.C. Sproul.)

As baptists, our church continually faces the question reflected in the title of this post: How old must a child be before he or she is ready to be baptized? This very question was asked in the comments section a couple days back, and it is an important one.

The Bible does not put an age requirement on baptism. But it does describe water baptism as a post-conversion act of identification with Christ. In Acts 2:38, Peter emphasized repentance as a corollary to baptism. In verse 41 of that same chapter, Luke records that it was “those who had received his word” that were baptized. Acts 16:34 indicates that the Philippian Jailer’s household believed before they were baptized. Colossians 2:11-12, 1 Peter 3:18-21, and other passages associate baptism with saving faith; and even the order of the Great Commission puts “making disciples” before “baptizing them” (Matt. 28:19).

Thus, without putting an age-requirement on baptism, the Bible indicates that a person must understand the gospel, repent of his or her sin, and savingly trust in Christ before being baptized. If water baptism is an external sign of genuine conversion, then genuine conversion must take place first.

At what point, then, is a child capable of understanding the gospel, repenting from sin, and savingly trusting in Christ? Again, Scripture gives no specific age limit. In our experience, however, we have found that most children do not really begin to objectively evaluate their own thoughts until they reach junior high. Before then, they usually feel little concern over the contradictory values to which they cling. Seldom during elementary years do they conscientiously think about and spiritually evaluate life’s demands independently of their parents.

This does not mean that all young children are incapable of committing the rest of their lives to Christ and being indwelt by the Holy Spirit. However, prior to adolescence, few children truly appreciate the significance of their separation from God, and few have sufficient mental sophistication to project far enough into the future to commit “the rest of their lives” to anything.

Although we do baptize eleven or twelve year olds from time to time at Grace Church, our children’s pastor spends enough time in conversation with them beforehand to settle any doubts he may have in two areas: (1) has the child actually rejected a worldly set of values in making his commitment to Christ? (2) can he project far enough into the future to make a lifelong commitment?

If these issues are resolved, we proceed to evaluate whether or not the child has an understanding of salvation by grace apart from works, and we seek verification from others that he or she demonstrates the fruit of the Spirit in everyday life. We believe a child who can meet these qualifications is ready to identify with Christ and His church through believer’s baptism.

The temptation for many parents is to rush their child’s baptism. Our elders here at Grace Church believe it is better to wait, and be absolutely convinced of a child’s conversion, than to baptize the child prematurely — and thereby potentially give an unsaved child a false sense of assurance.

The book of Proverbs is a wonderful, intensely practical guide that contains much wisdom you can impart to your children as you train them in godly living. For your benefit, we’ve compiled ten lessons from Proverbs you should teach to your children. We’re convinced that, in the process of teaching those ten lessons, you’ll unearth many more principles from Proverbs that will serve your children well their entire lives.

Teach your children:

1. To have a healthy fear of God (1:7; 9:10; 10:27; 14:26-27; 15:16; 16:6; 19:23)

2. To guard their minds (4:23; 23:7)

3. To obey you (1:8; 4:1-4; 6:20-23; 30:17)

4. To carefully select their companions (1:11-18; 2:10-15; 13:20)

5. To control their sinful desires (2:16-19; 5:3-5; 6:23-33; 7:6-27)

6. To enjoy sexual fidelity (5:15-20)

7. To watch their words (4:24; 10:11, 19-21, 32; 12:18, 22; 15:1-2; 16:23; 20:15)

8. To pursue their work (6:6-11; 10:4-5; 22:29)

9. To manage their money (3:9-10; 11:24-26; 19:17; 22:9)

10. To love their neighbors (3:27-29; 25:21-22)

Foundational Keys to Evangelizing Children

It is not enough for parents simply to avoid these common pitfalls (see yesterday’s post)—they must also seek to put into practice the following keys to child evangelism.

1. Setting a Consistent Example of Godliness

Evangelizing children consists not simply of verbalizing the gospel with one’s mouth, but also of exemplifying it in one’s life. As parents explain the truths of God’s Word, children have the unique opportunity to observe their lives up close and to see whether they seriously believe what they are teaching. When parents are faithful not only to proclaim, but also to live out the gospel, the impact is profound.

Because marriage is a picture of Christ’s relationship with the church (Eph. 5:22–33), the relationship between the parents as husband and wife is particularly significant. In fact, aside from the parents’ fundamental commitment to Christ, the single most important foundation for successful parenting is a healthy, Christ-centered marriage. Setting a consistent example of godliness is indispensable.

2. Proclaiming the Complete Gospel of Christ

The heart of evangelism is the gospel, “for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes” (Rom. 1:16). If a child is to repent and believe in Christ, then, it will be through the proclamation of the message of the cross (1 Cor. 1:18–25; 2 Tim. 3:15; James 1:18; 1 Peter 1:23–25). Children will not be saved apart from the gospel.

For this reason, parents need to teach their children the law of God, teach them the gospel of divine grace, show them their need for a Savior, and point them to Jesus Christ as the only One who can save them. It is best to start from the beginning—God, creation, the fall, sin, salvation, and Christ in His life, death, and resurrection.

As they teach their children, parents must resist the temptation to downplay or soften the demands of the gospel and must proclaim the message in its fullness. The need to surrender to the lordship of Christ, for example, is not too difficult for children to understand. Any child who is old enough to understand the basic gospel is also able by God’s grace to trust Him completely and respond with the purest, most sincere kind of repentance.

The key is to be clear and thorough. Parents more than anyone have ample time and opportunity to explain and illustrate gospel truths, to correct misunderstandings, and to clarify and review the most difficult aspects of the message. The wise parent will be faithful, patient, and persistent, being careful to look at every moment of the child’s life as a teaching opportunity (Deut. 6:6–7).

One such teaching opportunity is found in the parents’ responsibility to discipline and correct their children when they are disobedient (Eph. 6:4). Rather than seeking simply to modify behavior, the wise parent will look at discipline as an opportunity to help his children become aware of their failure and inability to obey, and subsequently, their need for forgiveness in Christ. In this way, discipline and correction are used to bring children to a sober assessment of themselves as sinners and to lead to the cross of Christ where sinners can be forgiven.

As parents explain the gospel and exhort their children to respond to the gospel, it is best to avoid an emphasis on external actions, such as praying “the sinner’s prayer.” There is an urgency inherent in the gospel message itself—and it is right for parents to impress that urgency on the child’s heart—but the focus should be kept on the internal response Scripture calls for from sinners: repentance from sin and faith in Christ. As parents diligently teach the gospel and take opportunities each day to instruct their children in the truth of God’s Word, they can begin to look for signs that their children have indeed repented and believed.

3. Understanding the Biblical Evidences of Salvation

The evidence that someone has genuinely repented of his sin and believed in Christ is the same in a child as it is in an adult—spiritual transformation. According to Scripture, true believers follow Christ (John 10:27), confess their sins (1 John 1:9), love their brothers (1 John 3:14), obey God’s commandments (1 John 2:3; John 15:14), do the will of God (Matt. 12:50), abide in God’s Word (John 8:31), keep God’s Word (John 17:6), and do good works (Eph. 2:10).

Parents should look for an increasing measure of this kind of fruit in their children’s lives as they continue to instruct them in the truths of the gospel. In addition, parents should be fervent in their efforts to teach their children about Christ and their need for salvation, but they should also recognize that an essential part of that work is to guard them from thinking they are saved when they are not.

Understanding the biblical evidences of salvation—and explaining them to one’s children—is foundational to this work of protection.

4. Encouraging Possible Signs of Conversion

Because of the immaturity and fickleness of children, it is tempting for some parents to write off childlike expressions of faith as trivial, or even meaningless. In contrast, parents should encourage every sign of faith in their children and use the opportunity to teach them even more about Christ and the gospel. When a child expresses a desire to learn about Jesus, parents should feed that desire and encourage the child when they see possible signs of conversion.

Even if parents conclude it’s too early to regard their child’s interest in Christ as mature faith, they must not deride a profession of faith as false, for it may be the seed from which mature faith will later emerge. Instead, the parent should continue to point that child toward Christ, teaching the truth of God’s Word with patience and diligence, and always looking to the One who is able to open hearts to respond to the gospel.

5. Trusting the Absolute Sovereignty of God

The greatest need of children is to be born again. Regeneration, however, is not something that parents can do for them. Parents may pressure their children into a false profession, but genuine faith and repentance can only be granted by God who regenerates the heart. Put simply, the new birth is the work of the Holy Spirit and Him alone (John 3:8).

The salvation of children, then, cannot be produced by the faithfulness or diligence of parents, but only by the sovereign work of God Himself. Such a realization should bring comfort to parents. In addition, it should motivate them to bathe their evangelistic efforts in prayer to the One who does His work where they cannot—in the child’s heart.

The following article is taken from a Grace Community Church Elders’ Distinctive.

For many believers, fulfilling Christ’s command to make disciples of all nations begins at home—with their children. In fact, few experiences bring greater joy to Christian parents than seeing their children come to faith in Christ.

The process of evangelizing one’s children, however, can be a daunting task. For many parents, the questions are as practical as they are disconcerting: How should I present the gospel to my children? What’s the best approach to take? How do I know if I’m doing it right?

Pitfalls, both real and imagined, intimidate virtually every parent who contemplates this responsibility. On one hand, there’s the danger of leading children to think they are saved when they are not. On the other, there’s the risk of discouraging children who express a genuine desire to follow Christ.

How, then, should we evangelize our children?

The answer to this question is not an easy one, but it begins with recognizing and avoiding some of the common pitfalls in child evangelism.

Common Pitfalls in Evangelizing Children

1. Oversimplifying the Gospel of Christ

Because a child’s comprehension is less developed than an adult’s, the temptation for many parents is to oversimplify the message of the gospel when they evangelize their children. Sometimes this stems from canned or programmed approaches to child evangelism, which often abbreviate the gospel, downplay the demands of the gospel, or leave out key aspects of the gospel altogether.

Like adults, children must be able to understand the gospel clearly before they can be saved. This involves grasping concepts such as good and evil, sin and punishment, repentance and faith, God’s holiness and wrath against sin, the deity of Christ and His atonement for sin, and the resurrection and lordship of Christ. Certainly parents need to use terminology children can comprehend and be clear in communicating the message, but when Scripture talks about teaching children spiritual truth, the emphasis is on thoroughness (Deuteronomy 6:6–7).

Oversimplification is a greater danger than giving too much detail. It is the truth—found in God’s Word—that saves, but that truth must be understood.

2. Coercing a Profession of Faith

Whether parents present the gospel in an oversimplified or thorough manner, many solicit some kind of active response to that message. It could be a show of hands in a group setting, a rote repetition of “the sinner’s prayer,” or almost anything that may be counted as a positive response. Children will almost always respond in whatever way parents ask—not at all guaranteeing real acts of faith in Christ.

Rather than getting their children to pray “the sinner’s prayer” or enticing them into a superficial response, parents must faithfully, patiently, and thoroughly teach them the gospel and diligently pray for their salvation, always bearing in mind that God is the One who saves. There is no need to pressure or coerce a confession from the mouth of a child, for genuine repentance will bring forth its own confession as the Lord opens the heart in response to the gospel. And as time goes by, it is never right to reinforce to the child that a childhood prayer is evidence of salvation (see #4 below).

3. Assuming the Reality of Regeneration

The next pitfall is assuming with certainty that a child’s positive response to the gospel is full-fledged saving faith. The temptation here is to regard regeneration as a settled matter because of an outward indication that the child has believed. One cannot assume, however, that every profession of faith reflects a genuine work of God in the heart (Matt. 7:21–23), and this is particularly true of children.

Children often respond positively to the gospel for a host of reasons, many of which are unrelated to any awareness of sin or real understanding of spiritual truth. Many children, for example, profess faith because of peer pressure at church or a desire to please their parents.

In addition, Scripture indicates that children tend to be immature (1 Cor. 13:11; 14:20), naive (Prov. 1:4), foolish (Prov. 22:15), capricious (Isaiah 3:4), inconsistent and fickle (Matt. 11:16–17), and unstable and easily deceived (Eph. 4:14). Children often think they have understood the ramifications of a given commitment when they have not. Their judgment is shallow and their ability to see the implications of their decisions is very weak. Despite the best of intentions, they seldom have the ability to think far beyond today, nor do they perceive the extent to which their choices will affect tomorrow. This makes children more vulnerable to self-deception, and it makes it more difficult for a parent to discern God’s saving work in their hearts.

For this reason, only when a child’s stated convictions and beliefs are tested by circumstances in life as he matures do parents begin to learn more conclusively his spiritual direction. While many people do make a genuine commitment to Christ when young, many others—perhaps most—don’t come to an adequate understanding of the gospel until their teenage years. Others who profess Christ in childhood turn away. It is only appropriate, then, that parents move cautiously in affirming a child’s profession of faith and not be quick to take any show of commitment as decisive proof of conversion.

4. Assuring the Child of Salvation

After becoming convinced their child is saved, many parents seek to give that child verbal assurance of his salvation. As a consequence, the church is filled with teenagers and adults whose hearts are devoid of real love for Christ, but who think they are genuine Christians because of something they did as children.

It is the role of the Holy Spirit—not the parent—to give assurance of salvation (Rom. 8:15–16). Too many people whose hearts are utterly cold to the things of the Lord believe they are going to heaven simply because they responded positively as children to an evangelistic invitation. Having “asked Jesus to come into their hearts,” they were then given a false assurance and taught never to examine themselves and never to entertain any doubt about their salvation. Parents should commend and rejoice in the evidence of real salvation in the lives of their children only when they know the child understands the gospel, believes it, and manifests the genuine evidence of true salvation—devotion to Christ, obedience to the Word, and love for others.

5. Rushing the Ordinance of Baptism

A final pitfall for many parents is having the child baptized immediately after he professes faith. Although Scripture commands that believers be baptized (Matt. 28:19; Acts 2:38), it is best not to rush into the ordinance in the case of a child. As previously stated, it is extremely difficult to recognize genuine salvation in children. Rather than rushing them into baptism after an initial profession, then, it is wiser to take the ongoing opportunity to interact with them and wait for more significant evidence of lasting commitment. Even if a child can say enough in a testimony to make it reasonably clear that he understands and embraces the gospel, baptism should wait until he manifests evidence of regeneration that is independent of parental control.

Here at Grace Community Church, our general practice is to wait until a professing child has reached the age of twelve. Because baptism is seen as something clear and final, our primary concern is that when a younger child is baptized he tends to look to that experience as proof that he was saved. Therefore, in the case of an unregenerate child who is baptized—which is not uncommon in the church at large—baptism actually does him a disservice. It is better to wait until the reality to which baptism testifies can be more easily discerned.

(Part 2 to come tomorrow)

(By John MacArthur)

In Ephesians 6:4, Paul writes, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord.” In our series these last two weeks, we’ve looked at both discipline (specifically, spanking) and instruction (specifically, evangelism). Today, we will look at the command to not provoke.

To “provoke . . . to anger” suggests a repeated, ongoing pattern of treatment that gradually builds up a deep–seated anger and resentment that boils over in outward hostility.

Such treatment is usually not intended to provoke anger. Here are eight ways in which parents can provoke their children to anger:

1) Well–meaning overprotection is a common cause of resentment in children. Parents who smother their children, overly restrict where they can go and what they can do, never trust them to do things on their own, and continually question their judgment build a barrier between themselves and their children—usually under the delusion that they are building a closer relationship. Children need careful guidance and certain restrictions, but they are individual human beings in their own right and must learn to make decisions on their own, commensurate with their age and maturity. Their wills can be guided but they cannot be controlled.

2) Another common cause of provoking children to anger is favoritism. Isaac favored Esau over Jacob and Rebekah preferred Jacob over Esau. That dual and conflicting favoritism not only caused great trouble for the immediate family but has continued to have repercussions in the conflicts between the descendants of Jacob and Esau until our present day! For parents to compare their children with each other, especially in the children’s presence, can be devastating to the child who is less talented or favored. He will tend to become discouraged, resentful, withdrawn, and bitter.

Favoritism by parents generally leads to favoritism among the children themselves, who pick up the practice from their parents. They will favor one brother or sister over the others and will often favor one parent over the other.

3) A third way parents provoke their children is by pushing achievement beyond reasonable bounds. A child can be so pressured to achieve that he is virtually destroyed. He quickly learns that nothing he does is sufficient to please his parents. No sooner does he accomplish one goal than he is challenged to accomplish something better. Fathers who fantasize their own achievements through the athletic skills of their sons, or mothers who fantasize a glamorous career through the lives of their daughters prostitute their responsibility as parents.

I once visited a young woman who was confined to a padded cell and was in a state of catatonic shock. She was a Christian and had been raised in a Christian family, but her mother had ceaselessly pushed her to be the most popular, beautiful, and successful girl in school. She became head cheerleader, homecoming queen, and later a model. But the pressure to excel became too great and she had a complete mental collapse. After she was eventually released from the hospital, she went back into the same artificial and demanding environment. When again she found she could not cope, she committed suicide. She had summed up her frustration when she told me one day, “I don’t care what it is I do, it never satisfies my mother.”

4) A fourth way children are provoked is by discouragement. A child who is never complimented or encouraged by his parents is destined for trouble. If he is always told what is wrong with him and never what is right, he will soon lose hope and become convinced that he is incapable of doing anything right. At that point he has no reason even to try. Parents can always find something that a child genuinely does well, and they should show appreciation for it. A child needs approval and encouragement in things that are good every bit as much as he needs correction in things that are not.

5) A fifth way provocation occurs is by parents’ failing to sacrifice for their children and making them feel unwanted. Children who are made to feel that they are an intrusion, that they are always in the way and interfere with the plans and happiness of the parents, cannot help becoming resentful. To such children the parents themselves will eventually become unwanted and an intrusion on the children’s plans and happiness.

6) A sixth form of provocation comes from failing to let children grow up at a normal pace. Chiding them for always acting childish, even when what they do is perfectly normal and harmless, does not contribute to their maturity but rather helps confirm them in their childishness.

7) A seventh way of angering children is that of using love as a tool of reward or punishment—granting it when a child is good and withdrawing it when he is bad. Often the practice is unconscious, but a child can sense if a parent cares for him less when is he disobedient than when he behaves. That is not how God loves and is not the way he intends human parents to love. God disciplines His children just as much out of love as He blesses them. “Those whom the Lord loves He disciplines” (Heb. 12:6). Because it is so easy to punish out of anger and resentment, parents should take special care to let their children know they love them when discipline is given.

An eighth way to provoke children is by physical and verbal abuse. Battered children are a growing tragedy today. Even Christian parents—fathers especially—sometimes overreact and spank their children much harder than necessary. Proper physical discipline is not a matter of exerting superior authority and strength, but of correcting in love and reasonableness. Children are also abused verbally. A parent can as easily overpower a child with words as with physical force. Putting him down with superior arguments or sarcasm can inflict serious harm, and provokes him to anger and resentment. It is amazing that we sometimes say things to our children that we would not think of saying to anyone else—for fear of ruining our reputation!

In closing, consider the confession of one Christian father,

My family’s all grown and the kids are all gone. But if I had to do it all over again, this is what I would do. I would love my wife more in front of my children. I would laugh with my children more—at our mistakes and our joys. I would listen more, even to the littlest child. I would be more honest about my own weaknesses, never pretending perfection. I would pray differently for my family; instead of focusing on them, I’d focus on me. I would do more things together with my children. I would encourage them more and bestow more praise. I would pay more attention to little things, like deeds and words of thoughtfulness. And then, finally, if I had to do it all over again, I would share God more intimately with my family; every ordinary thing that happened in every ordinary day I would use to direct them to God.

(Today’s article adapted from John’s commentary on Ephesians, published by Moody.)

In paedobaptist teaching, baptism is seen as a mark of divine ownership, a sign and seal given to those who are God’s own possession. When an infant is baptized, not only does he enter God’s covenant family, but “his parents declare that their child belongs to God” (Daniel Doriani). In this way, baptism is considered a sign of initiation by which an infant is received into the church and “reckoned among God’s children” (John Calvin). As John Murray writes, infants who are baptized “are to be received as the children of God and treated accordingly.”

This idea that children of believers are automatically children of God provides part of the rationale for infant baptism. According to one paedobaptist, “The children of Christians are no less the sons of God than the parents, just as in the Old Testament,” and since “they are sons of God, who will forbid them baptism?” In this view, just as “the adoption of sons” belonged to infants in Old Testament Israel (Rom 9:4), it now belongs to infants in the New Testament Church, and therefore the latter should be baptized just as the former were circumcised.

Although it is true that baptism is a mark of divine ownership which should be given to those who are children of God, the practice of baptizing infants betrays a misunderstanding of the doctrine of divine adoption. Specifically, it ignores a significant point of discontinuity between corporate adoption in Old Testament Israel and individual adoption in the New Testament church.

In the Old Testament, the corporate adoption of the nation of Israel was such that individual Jews were considered sons of God regardless of whether they themselves were personally saved. In Deuteronomy 14:1–2, Yahweh said to Israel:

You are the sons of the Lord your God; you shall not cut yourselves nor shave your forehead for the sake of the dead. For you are a holy people to the Lord your God; and the Lord has chosen you to be a people for His own possession out of all the peoples who are on the face of the earth (Deut 14:1–2).

God chose Israel, set His love upon her, and redeemed her out of slavery (Deut 7:6–8), and as a result He was a Father to her (Deut 32:6; cf. Exod 4:22; Mal 2:10). But not all Jews who were part of this adoption were in a right relationship with God. In fact, throughout the history of Old Testament Israel, most were not, but nonetheless they were still children of God in a corporate and non-salvific sense.

This corporate adoption of Old Testament Israel can be seen in the New Testament as well. In Romans 9:2–4, as the apostle Paul expresses his desire to see fellow Jews come to Christ, he describes the various privileges which belong to the nation of Israel:

I have great sorrow and unceasing grief in my heart. For I could wish that I myself were accursed, separated from Christ for the sake of my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh, who are Israelites, to whom belongs the adoption of sons and the glory and the covenants and the giving of the Law and the temple service and the promises (Rom 9:2–4).

According to this passage, Israel enjoyed the status of being adopted as Yahweh’s children even though the nation was largely unbelieving. Under the Old Covenant, then, a Jew who was part of the covenant community could be considered a child of God even though he himself was unsaved and on his way to hell, in need of the very gospel that Paul proclaimed.

According to paedobaptists, the continuity between Old Testament Israel and the New Testament church requires us to baptize infants of believers. Regardless of their individual spiritual status, it is believed that they are children of God and therefore should be baptized as a mark of divine ownership just as infants were circumcised in the Old Testament.

Precisely where the paedobaptist sees continuity, however, Scripture indicates discontinuity, for under the New Covenant, only those who believe in Christ are children of God (Gal 4:5). The New Testament knows nothing of a corporate, non-salvific adoption of God’s people, but instead teaches an individual adoption unto eternal salvation (Eph 1:5).

For example, in Romans 8:15–17, the apostle Paul writes:

For you have not received a spirit of slavery leading to fear again, but you have received a spirit of adoption of sons by which we cry out, “Abba! Father!” The Spirit Himself bears witness with our spirit that we are children of God, and if children, heirs also, heirs of God and fellow heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him so that we may also be glorified with Him (Rom 8:15–17).

As Greg Welty notes, in Old Testament Israel, adoption belonged even to those who were destined for condemnation (Rom 9:2–4), but under the New Covenant it belongs only to those are destined for glory (Rom 8:15–17).

This can also be seen in John 1:11–13, where the apostle John describes how the nation of Israel rejected her Messiah:

He came to His own, and those who were His own did not receive Him. But as many as received Him, to them He gave the right to become children of God, even to those who believe in His name, who were born not of blood nor of the will of the flesh nor of the will of man, but of God (John 1:11–13).

According to this passage, nobody starts out as a child of God, regardless of his ancestry. An individual becomes a child of God not when he is born to Christian parents but rather when he believes in the name of Christ and is born again by the Holy Spirit. For this reason, unlike with the Old Covenant, everyone who is a child of God under the New Covenant has a right standing before Him and is eternally secure in Christ.

Baptism is indeed a mark of divine ownership, just as paedobaptists say it is. But as such, it should only be given to those who give evidence of having been redeemed and adopted by God as His children—those who profess repentance and faith in the Lord Jesus Christ.

Today’s article was adapted from chapter 5 of A Biblical Critique of Infant Baptism by Matt Waymeyer (The Woodlands, Tex: Kress Christian Publications, 2008), which can be purchased through Grace Books International.