Wayne Grudhemn’s Systematic Theology which Nate W referenced has a great section on Common Grace that was helpful for me in this discussion.

I’ve thought about this alot also and here’ what I’ve come up with.

I think you’re making common grace to “common.” How would I treat ppl who are in constant rebellion against me 24/7, blaspheming my name, and sometimes killing my children? Let me tell you, I wouldn’t give them sunshine, food, family, friends, and everything that is through common grace. God’s common grace is magnificent. If we only knew what everyone deserved, its a miracle what sinners are getting.

And your are correct when you say that God is not good to those whose eternal destiny is hell. God is just being completely and utterly FAIR and JUST. Here’s the way most ppl think about it “People and sin are not so bad that its worth eternal damnation – maybe 50, even, 500 years or so, but surely not eternity.”

However, this is not the way it is. I used to always think hell was way, until I realized the price of sin is the Cross. Alot of ppl I come across never realize how terrible sin is, but once you realize that it cost Christ’s life it makes you realize “whoa, maybe sin is so bad that it is worth eternal damnation not 50-500 years.”

I’ve concluded to myself that sin is a deceiver and always wants me to think that it is not “that bad” and that ppl aren’t “so bad” that they deserve an eternity in hell. And whenever I have doubts about sin not being worth that much, I always look at what it cost – Jesus Christ Himself and I know that sin is in fact THAT BAD.