God’s Word on Spanking (Part 1 of 3)
April 4th, 2007
(By Ralph Drollinger)
* Ralph is the founder and president of Capitol Ministries. As an extension of the local church, Capitol Ministries seeks to place highly skilled, Bible-teaching evangelists in each of our nation’s State capitols.
Intro: For the past eleven years Ralph has been teaching God’s Word to California’s political leaders. At the beginning of this year’s legislative session, a bill was introduced to ban the spanking of a child under the age of 4. While Capitol Ministries strictly avoids political lobbying, Ralph believed it was important to educate California’s lawmakers regarding God’s perspective on the matter. What follows comes from the study he did for the California state legislators to whom he ministers.
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In an ongoing examination of the Bible book of Proverbs we have been studying all that King Solomon has to say about anger and violence. This spanning subject lends itself to a digression. This week we will investigate what God states about spanking a child. We will study what Proverbs, as well as the whole of Scripture, teaches about this controversial subject.
A. THE CAUSE FOR SPANKING
Jeremiah 17:9 states, “The heart is more deceitful than all else and is desperately sick; who can understand it?” This is a classic summary passage pertaining to the sinful status of mankind. Scripture is replete and consistent on the fact that “all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God” (Rom. 3:23). Contrary to this truth, if children come into this world morally and ethically neutral then all they really need is education; direction, not correction. Herein is the viewpoint of the Humanist, who believes that man is basically good and his greatest need is education. Since all problems are remedied with learning, there is therefore no need for corrective discipline.
In reality, however, there is a sin problem that needs addressing. To illustrate this, watch toddlers long before they talk. They struggle against you (as their parents), for example, during diaper changes or when you instruct him or her not to touch something. They all have a self-will that defies authority. Left unchecked it will eventually bloom into teenage rebellion. A child’s problem is not a lack of education and instruction. Proverbs 22:15a states, “Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child . . . ” Proverbs defines a fool as one who refuses to submit to authority or reproof (cf. Ps. 14:1).
B. THE CASE FOR SPANKING
Proverbs 13:24 states, “He who withholds his rod hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines him diligently.” The Hebrew word for Rod (Shebet) means “staff or stick.” This derivation of the word refers to that part of a tree from which the same could be made. Philologically, the word meant “a tool of discipline.” In Psalm 2:9 shebet describes the wielding of a rod of iron over opposing nations by the Messiah at the beginning of the Millennial Kingdom (Cf. Job 21:9; 37:13; Psa. 45). Proverbs 10:13 is the first mention of corporal punishment in the book (corporal derived from “corpus,” meaning “body”). Solomon states, “A rod (shebet) is for the backside of him who lacks understanding.”
Why? This tactile response of the parent to the child provides an immediate correlation of sowing and reaping regarding the foolishness of rebellion (Gal. 6:7). Merriam-Webster defines corporal punishment as “that which is administered by an adult to the body of a child ranging in severity from a slap to a spanking.” Author Tedd Tripp, in his excellent book, Shepherding a Child’s Heart, goes a step further. The rod isn’t so much the physical object as much as it is the parent who spanks in obedience to Scripture:
The rod is a parent [who] in faith toward God and faithfulness toward his or her children, undertakes the responsibility of careful, timely, measured, and controlled use of physical punishment to underscore the importance of obeying God, thus rescuing the child from continuing in his foolishness until death (p. 104).
In summary then, the rod, according to the Bible, is God’s specific means of dealing with foolishness in the heart of a child. Yes, effective verbal communication is necessary too, but speaking fails without spanking. Consider this in a governmental sense. The Legislature creates penalties for those who violate its decrees. It requires submission. Punishment follows a lack of submission to California’s authority. How would the people of California behave if the Legislature removed all penalties for violating its laws? Would “talking things through” with law-breakers be more effective? Anarchy would rule in the streets! Words without enforcement are ineffective. It is the same in the family.
Continuing on this point:
22:15 Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of discipline will remove it far from him.
23:13-14 Do not hold back discipline from the child, although you strike him with the rod, he will not die. You shall strike him with the rod and rescue his soul from Sheol.
The instrumentality of the rod is the means God has ordained wherein foolishness is exchanged for wisdom and a proper fear of God and His authority. It therefore matters little what we might think about spanking. The issue is obeying God by following His methods for childrearing. Unfortunately, some parents abuse their children under the guise of spanking. Such is most certainly not God’s design. It is sin, as we will see tomorrow.
I haven’t read fully Tripp’s book but went through a study where used it for a basis of study…I agree with the quote used above and I don’t know the context it was used in. I would add to that quote that no fear of God is going to be instilled unless the rod (the parent) guides the child to understand the sin, why they sin, the judgment of sin and the great story of redemption for that sin…
I know that Tripp uses these same thoughts throughout the book, but someone just reading that quote might think Tripp believes in spanking and walking away, which he does not…
Excellent. Thank you f for these posts
An wise decision to deal with this topic, and sound advice. In the UK it has pretty much become a criminal act to discipline a child.
My dad spanked me, my older sister, and younger brother. We never feared him, and always knew that he would be fair, but the rules were going to be enforced. And we all had great childhoods. My father wasn’t the type to spank for anything and everything. I’d say at least 80% of the time he could get through to us simply talking to us and letting us know that whatever we had done was not allowed. If we broke the same rule a second time, he’d make sure we knew WHY the rule was in place. Third time we got a spanking. The only times he ever spanked on a first offense were if we lied or delieberately disobeyed him or our mom.
Between the ages of 18 and 23 I suffered from depression, suicidal thoughts, and self-harm episodes where I would cut myself. All of this occured because of life choices I made. My younger brother was the only one who knew, and he never told our parents.
One day, when I was 23 I OD’d on some pills. A mutual friend of my brother and myself told my brother about it. He said he didn’t want to “rat me out” but it was time for our parents to know what was going on. I begged him not to tell and promised to “get help”. He told me that he wouldn’t tell – so long as I did the following day.
At 23 yrs old, I had to tell my parents about me trying to kill myself. That was going to require me to be completely honest with them about my feelings rather than being the “happy-go-lucky” person I tried to be around them. I felt some relief that I was 3,000 miles away, but at the same time I wanted to be there at home with them. My dad asked me if I knew what he would’ve done if I had done something so foolish at home. I responded something along the lines of “you’d have killed me” to which he said “I wouldn’t have killed you, that was what you were trying to accomplish. But I would have spanked you and made you wish your attempt at killing yourself had been successful.” My father isn’t one to “pull punches”. He says things the way he means them, so I had no doubts then — nor do I have now — that he was serious about the consequences I would’ve faced if I had been home rather than across the country.
Many who have heard this think that it was down-right sick for a father to threaten his 23 year old daughter with a spanking. I personally thought I was too old for a spanking, however I have never felt more loved and secure than I did during that phone conversation with my dad, and I know this much, a year and a half has passed since that evening, and I haven’t so much as THOUGHT about killing myself or cutting, much less actually done so. Prior to the talk I had with my dad, I thought about death almost constantly and would either cut or make plans to kill myself at least twice a month, often times much more often. Who knows, maybe if my brother had “ratted me out” sooner, I would’ve gotten out of my depressed state a lot sooner and begun living a happy life instead of the mere existence I was in before.
Anyway, just my thoughts since I’ve seen in my own life that spanking does work, if the parent(s) spank with love, and not out of anger. If my dad had been yelling at me (rather than just being very firm with me) the night he told me he would’ve spanked me if I were home; yeah, I would’ve probably been terrified. But with him being calm, yet firm about it, I knew I was loved and cared for…enough so that he wouldn’t allow me to put my saftey in jepoardy and he wouldn’t allow me to disobey God by trying to murder myself.