Comments on: Parenting in an Anti-Spanking Culture http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/ A Ministry of Shepherds' Fellowship Sun, 01 Mar 2009 19:54:00 -0800 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: Tommy Truman http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-53671 Tommy Truman Mon, 03 Sep 2007 04:43:36 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-53671 I agree people should discipline their kids. I grew up in a family that was loving, yet strict when they needed to be. When I did something wrong, my family let me know it (and I got my butt whipped or I got grounded as well). I smack, whip, or ground my kids when they step out of line at time, or otherwise I just talk to them. There's no substitute for discipline.... I agree people should discipline their kids. I grew up in a family that was loving, yet strict when they needed to be. When I did something wrong, my family let me know it (and I got my butt whipped or I got grounded as well). I smack, whip, or ground my kids when they step out of line at time, or otherwise I just talk to them. There’s no substitute for discipline….

]]> By: Liam Turley http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-39683 Liam Turley Sun, 22 Jul 2007 18:15:30 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-39683 Yes the Bible states that children should be hit - And this will work, if all you care about is obedience from your children, but even then you are provoking them to rebel against the treatment. Punishment only brings obedience out of fear. We need to help children feel good about doing better; you can't do that by making them feel worse. We should not expect more cooperation from the child then what we are willing to offer. Because if an adult isn't feeling good, they tend to get away with an attitude problem, but children are completely exempt from this concession, and it is not fair. People would rather spank their child then help them with the real issue that is causing the misbehavior. A child misbehaves because of insufficient understanding/guidance, not insufficient fear/discomfort of punishment/spanking. I see that we need to assist with the real issue. We need to guide our children more and we need to help then develop understanding appropriate for their age – this can come only from modeling discipline, not punishment. In the same biblical passages about beating children, it says that we should kill our children if they are disobedient. The bible was written during a time when they didn't know about child development. The experts that you dismiss, have superior knowledge on child development than Solomon, I assure you. Solomon, with his crazy lifestyle, is hardly a source for parenting advice Kids need to have the same protection against violence as adults. Although it is seldomly admitted, spanking has the same effects on children as hitting does to spouses in domestic violence. We don't live in the same world that biblical people did. God will hold us more accountable because we know more than the ancient people. It is time for the violence to stop. If not at home, then where? Yes the Bible states that children should be hit – And this will work, if all you care about is obedience from your children, but even then you are provoking them to rebel against the treatment. Punishment only brings obedience out of fear.

We need to help children feel good about doing better; you can’t do that by making them feel worse. We should not expect more cooperation from the child then what we are willing to offer. Because if an adult isn’t feeling good, they tend to get away with an attitude problem, but children are completely exempt from this concession, and it is not fair.

People would rather spank their child then help them with the real issue that is causing the misbehavior. A child misbehaves because of insufficient understanding/guidance, not insufficient fear/discomfort of punishment/spanking. I see that we need to assist with the real issue. We need to guide our children more and we need to help then develop understanding appropriate for their age – this can come only from modeling discipline, not punishment.

In the same biblical passages about beating children, it says that we should kill our children if they are disobedient.

The bible was written during a time when they didn’t know about child development. The experts that you dismiss, have superior knowledge on child development than Solomon, I assure you.

Solomon, with his crazy lifestyle, is hardly a source for parenting advice

Kids need to have the same protection against violence as adults. Although it is seldomly admitted, spanking has the same effects on children as hitting does to spouses in domestic violence. We don’t live in the same world that biblical people did. God will hold us more accountable because we know more than the ancient people.

It is time for the violence to stop. If not at home, then where?

]]> By: Michael M http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-22041 Michael M Fri, 11 May 2007 13:34:36 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-22041 I personally think that one should gain as much information and knowledge as possible on this topic. Here is another page that may be of interest to some, it’s all about this subject of Christian parenting magazine, check it here http://www.parenting-education-rights.com/Christian-Parenting-Magazine.php I personally think that one should gain as much information and knowledge as possible on this topic. Here is another page that may be of interest to some, it’s all about this subject of Christian parenting magazine, check it here http://www.parenting-education-rights.com/Christian-Parenting-Magazine.php

]]> By: sarah http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-15650 sarah Tue, 03 Apr 2007 04:28:56 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-15650 This is just a legal way for people to promote open rebellion against God and to allow children to play out their fallen nature without consequences. In the medical field, we would explain to this woman that she is applying inappropriate interventions to different age groups. You cannot treat adults as children and children as adults. When adults break the law they pay a fine with their hard earned cash or are required to give up their liberty for a certain period of time. These types of punishments would be inappropriate for children. "Time out" is a shortened version of prison time that an adult would experience. However, "time outs" are never carried out to the degree which would affect the child's reasoning over their misbehavior. I see parents correcting the child's disobedience in observing the "time out" more than the parent correcting the initial misbehavior. The parent is trying to correct the second misbehavior even before the first behavior was dealt with in an adequate way. I was spanked many times a week and have never suffered mentally from my mother's loving discipline. However, my sister never once spanked her now 15yr old child and gave her everything her heart could ever desire (own cell phone at age 10 mustang convertible at 14yr in anticipation for 15th birthday when she would start driver's ed and everything in between!...yes, she's been to NY in modeling blah blah blah...very sickening to my heart) is now reaping the consequences of having absolutely no control over her own child. This same child has mental problems now that has caused hospitalizations because she doesn't know how to control her own emotions because no one has taught her self control through discipline. This is just a legal way for people to promote open rebellion against God and to allow children to play out their fallen nature without consequences. In the medical field, we would explain to this woman that she is applying inappropriate interventions to different age groups. You cannot treat adults as children and children as adults. When adults break the law they pay a fine with their hard earned cash or are required to give up their liberty for a certain period of time. These types of punishments would be inappropriate for children. “Time out” is a shortened version of prison time that an adult would experience. However, “time outs” are never carried out to the degree which would affect the child’s reasoning over their misbehavior. I see parents correcting the child’s disobedience in observing the “time out” more than the parent correcting the initial misbehavior. The parent is trying to correct the second misbehavior even before the first behavior was dealt with in an adequate way. I was spanked many times a week and have never suffered mentally from my mother’s loving discipline. However, my sister never once spanked her now 15yr old child and gave her everything her heart could ever desire (own cell phone at age 10 mustang convertible at 14yr in anticipation for 15th birthday when she would start driver’s ed and everything in between!…yes, she’s been to NY in modeling blah blah blah…very sickening to my heart) is now reaping the consequences of having absolutely no control over her own child. This same child has mental problems now that has caused hospitalizations because she doesn’t know how to control her own emotions because no one has taught her self control through discipline.

]]> By: David Shaw http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-15640 David Shaw Tue, 03 Apr 2007 02:57:55 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-15640 Seth, You and John make a valid point about not spanking in anger. Also to give instruction and reasons for discipline is vital. I have noticed that most parents don't give valid reasons, if any, for their discipline of their children. I always ask my students and my son if they understand why they are being disciplined and without fail they say they understand. I also ask if they have questions about the discipline they received and let them respond. There is no cure-all when it comes to disciplining children (as we all know). It takes time to discover what works and then apply it. It is just that most parents don't want to take the time or they want that cure-all. Seth,

You and John make a valid point about not spanking in anger. Also to give instruction and reasons for discipline is vital. I have noticed that most parents don’t give valid reasons, if any, for their discipline of their children. I always ask my students and my son if they understand why they are being disciplined and without fail they say they understand. I also ask if they have questions about the discipline they received and let them respond.

There is no cure-all when it comes to disciplining children (as we all know). It takes time to discover what works and then apply it. It is just that most parents don’t want to take the time or they want that cure-all.

]]> By: John http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-15639 John Tue, 03 Apr 2007 02:56:57 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-15639 I just had this propaganda of "no spanking" given to me in my medical school classes! I'll believe the Word before some prof. using flawed statistics any day. I just had this propaganda of “no spanking” given to me in my medical school classes!

I’ll believe the Word before some prof. using flawed statistics any day.

]]> By: Rewards, Punishments, and Happy Meals « Redeeming Womanhood http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-15633 Rewards, Punishments, and Happy Meals « Redeeming Womanhood Tue, 03 Apr 2007 02:38:20 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-15633 [...] Apr 2nd, 2007 by dgage Pulpit Magazine has an interesting article about parenting and spanking here. I find it strangethat many Christians have joined the anti-spanking campaign for various reasons. Many of these advocates equate punishments, and even rewards, with Skinner-type behaviorism. Since it’s right, and it always sounds great, to focus on the heart, we can start to believe that any coercive measures have no effect on the heart and can only lead to legalism and works righteousness. [...] [...] Apr 2nd, 2007 by dgage Pulpit Magazine has an interesting article about parenting and spanking here. I find it strangethat many Christians have joined the anti-spanking campaign for various reasons. Many of these advocates equate punishments, and even rewards, with Skinner-type behaviorism. Since it’s right, and it always sounds great, to focus on the heart, we can start to believe that any coercive measures have no effect on the heart and can only lead to legalism and works righteousness. [...]

]]> By: Seth McBee http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-15629 Seth McBee Tue, 03 Apr 2007 02:16:55 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-15629 Phil...I mean this in entire seriousness...I usually spank last because it curbs my anger towards my children...I also do some comforting and instruction afterwards, but most comes beforehand, Phil…I mean this in entire seriousness…I usually spank last because it curbs my anger towards my children…I also do some comforting and instruction afterwards, but most comes beforehand,

]]> By: Nate B. http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-15627 Nate B. Tue, 03 Apr 2007 01:55:38 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-15627 B, Thanks for your comment. We will be addressing some of those counter-arguments in some of our future posts this week. NB B,

Thanks for your comment. We will be addressing some of those counter-arguments in some of our future posts this week.

NB

]]> By: Joe Fleener http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/comment-page-1/#comment-15619 Joe Fleener Tue, 03 Apr 2007 01:04:46 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2007/04/02/parenting-in-an-anti-spanking-culture/#comment-15619 Pulpit Magazine Editors: Thank you for this very timely discussion. I now live in New Zealand where they are currently debating banning "Smacking" ("Spanking" in the States) entirely accross the country. As a result most of us in our churches are looking to teach and help our people understand their responsibility before God. Just yesterday I began to blog on this same topic. In Christ's service, Joe Fleener Pulpit Magazine Editors:

Thank you for this very timely discussion. I now live in New Zealand where they are currently debating banning “Smacking” (“Spanking” in the States) entirely accross the country.

As a result most of us in our churches are looking to teach and help our people understand their responsibility before God.

Just yesterday I began to blog on this same topic.

In Christ’s service,

Joe Fleener

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