Comments on: Is It Wrong for Wives to Work? http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/ A Ministry of Shepherds' Fellowship Sun, 01 Mar 2009 19:54:00 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.2 hourly 1 By: carol http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-228951 carol Sat, 20 Sep 2008 07:46:55 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-228951 ps can the moderator add that the correct order of the day is God, then family ..... NOT family then God second sorry im just struggling to express that my duties come to my family before work outside the home ps can the moderator add that the correct order of the day is God, then family ….. NOT family then God second

sorry

im just struggling to express that my duties come to my family before work outside the home

]]> By: carol http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-228949 carol Sat, 20 Sep 2008 07:41:33 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-228949 hi Im married with 3 children and I made a decision to be a stay at home mother from the time of my firstborn. From a religious perspective I didnt become a christian until recently , so all the decisions that I made for my family were made before my conversion. However I knew right from the start I wanted to stay at home with my children which was the driving motivation then which has spread over the years to encompass everything to do with the home and not just children. Yes of course i clean and shop and cook and garden etc during the day, but I would say the most important and busiest time of the day fro me is the evenings when my husband and children get home from work and school. How on earth Mothers who work cope with this time of the day is beyone me really. Its not just about cooking dinner and washing up and making small talk , I am there for everyone when they come home with decent food and time to listen to them and their troubles and to help the children with homework and make sure it gets done, when they go to after school activities i make sure they get there and back safely, i KNOW EXACTLY who they are with, what they are doing, where they are, how they are getting home etc how many parents can say that in this day and age? I sew and i bake and quilt and crochet and knit the whole family know i am in service to them and them FIRST I am very pleased to discover this is how the Bible wants me to lead my life as a married woman and wonder now looking back if the Holy spirit was calling me long before my born again conversion a a few years ago. Im not a educated person or a theologian, I just feel in my heart it is important for my family (and community who benefit from my helping hands too) that I put them before any desire to work to enjoy more money any status that would encrue, and to ignore the people ove rthe years who have laughed or sneered at me and made comments such as you are lazy when are you going back to work or to get a proper job. carol hi

Im married with 3 children and I made a decision to be a stay at home mother from the time of my firstborn. From a religious perspective I didnt become a christian until recently , so all the decisions that I made for my family were made before my conversion.

However I knew right from the start I wanted to stay at home with my children which was the driving motivation then which has spread over the years to encompass everything to do with the home and not just children.

Yes of course i clean and shop and cook and garden etc during the day, but I would say the most important and busiest time of the day fro me is the evenings when my husband and children get home from work and school.

How on earth Mothers who work cope with this time of the day is beyone me really.

Its not just about cooking dinner and washing up and making small talk , I am there for everyone when they come home with decent food and time to listen to them and their troubles and to help the children with homework and make sure it gets done, when they go to after school activities i make sure they get there and back safely, i KNOW EXACTLY who they are with, what they are doing, where they are, how they are getting home etc how many parents can say that in this day and age?

I sew and i bake and quilt and crochet and knit the whole family know i am in service to them and them FIRST

I am very pleased to discover this is how the Bible wants me to lead my life as a married woman and wonder now looking back if the Holy spirit was calling me long before my born again conversion a a few years ago.

Im not a educated person or a theologian, I just feel in my heart it is important for my family (and community who benefit from my helping hands too) that I put them before any desire to work to enjoy more money any status that would encrue, and to ignore the people ove rthe years who have laughed or sneered at me and made comments such as you are lazy when are you going back to work or to get a proper job.

carol

]]> By: Frankie http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-107275 Frankie Tue, 12 Feb 2008 06:31:42 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-107275 I have struggled with this question for years now. I want to take Scripture seriously, yet I don't want to be bound by another's interpretation based a lot on his own upbringing or preference. Here's my situation - have a go at it ... My wife is a physician - an OBGYN actually. She works in an all-female office and treats only female patients. She is very good at what she does and treats many of the women in the church we attend. While she does work hard, we have kept her hours down (and given up pay) in order to have her home as much as possible while being able to function as a business. If it matters, my wife was already on track in her education to become a physician before we met, and since I was a new christian at the time, I did not even think of "roles" for a few years after that. In addition, her ability to "keep up with me" intellectually was one of the things that attracted me to her. Had she been like many other women (and I'm not putting them down), I probably would not have been intrigued and pursued a relationship at that time in my life. She was unique. I have a master's degree in computer science. I worked a 9 to 5 job when my daughter was born, but it became apparent that we could not continue to go on the schedule we had. When I considered our options, the easiest was that we did not want to put our child(ren) in daycare. So, obviously, one of us needed to stay home. As I weighed the impact of her ministering to patients and me working to increase someone's profit, it seemed that it might make more sense "kingdomly-oriented" to have her keep her job. In addition, computer programming lends itself nicely to working out of the house at odd hours. So, here we are 9 years later. It has been a struggle at times, but what family doesn't have strugles? I have discussed this with others at my church and they say that my wife and I are an example to them in the way we relate. My wife has a gentle spirit, yet challenges me in all the right areas to spur me on to be more like Christ. It seems that there is a sense that some remove this verse from its context and that it is used to promote a 1950's style America at times. What gets me the most, though, is that so many people who hold to the "traditional view" do not embody marriages that I respect. They are rarely ones I aspire to emulate. To be fair, I have not observed John MacArthur personally, so I have no way to know if his marriage lives up to "Christ loving the church" or if it is one coated by layer upon layer of shellac in order to project a certain image ... Have at it ... I have struggled with this question for years now. I want to take Scripture seriously, yet I don’t want to be bound by another’s interpretation based a lot on his own upbringing or preference. Here’s my situation – have a go at it …

My wife is a physician – an OBGYN actually. She works in an all-female office and treats only female patients. She is very good at what she does and treats many of the women in the church we attend. While she does work hard, we have kept her hours down (and given up pay) in order to have her home as much as possible while being able to function as a business.

If it matters, my wife was already on track in her education to become a physician before we met, and since I was a new christian at the time, I did not even think of “roles” for a few years after that. In addition, her ability to “keep up with me” intellectually was one of the things that attracted me to her. Had she been like many other women (and I’m not putting them down), I probably would not have been intrigued and pursued a relationship at that time in my life. She was unique.

I have a master’s degree in computer science. I worked a 9 to 5 job when my daughter was born, but it became apparent that we could not continue to go on the schedule we had. When I considered our options, the easiest was that we did not want to put our child(ren) in daycare. So, obviously, one of us needed to stay home. As I weighed the impact of her ministering to patients and me working to increase someone’s profit, it seemed that it might make more sense “kingdomly-oriented” to have her keep her job. In addition, computer programming lends itself nicely to working out of the house at odd hours.

So, here we are 9 years later. It has been a struggle at times, but what family doesn’t have strugles?

I have discussed this with others at my church and they say that my wife and I are an example to them in the way we relate. My wife has a gentle spirit, yet challenges me in all the right areas to spur me on to be more like Christ.

It seems that there is a sense that some remove this verse from its context and that it is used to promote a 1950’s style America at times. What gets me the most, though, is that so many people who hold to the “traditional view” do not embody marriages that I respect. They are rarely ones I aspire to emulate. To be fair, I have not observed John MacArthur personally, so I have no way to know if his marriage lives up to “Christ loving the church” or if it is one coated by layer upon layer of shellac in order to project a certain image …

Have at it …

]]> By: jill http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-54351 jill Tue, 04 Sep 2007 11:24:46 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-54351 a couple more things, i certainly dont watch benny hinn, i watch word pictures and kirk cameron. i had another thought too. i happen to be the one who carries all the health and dental insurance through my job for our family. my husbands job doesnt even offer any, where would we be everytime something happened to us where we needed to get healthcare etc, knocking on the church door begging for help putting a strain on the church? i just find it hard to beleive that in our culture today god wants all christian women at home. obviously that is fine if our world was perfect. what about the married women that arent even able to have children? i surely think the lord can use them for more than staying home all day. a couple more things, i certainly dont watch benny hinn, i watch word pictures and kirk cameron. i had another thought too. i happen to be the one who carries all the health and dental insurance through my job for our family. my husbands job doesnt even offer any, where would we be everytime something happened to us where we needed to get healthcare etc, knocking on the church door begging for help putting a strain on the church? i just find it hard to beleive that in our culture today god wants all christian women at home. obviously that is fine if our world was perfect. what about the married women that arent even able to have children? i surely think the lord can use them for more than staying home all day.

]]> By: jill http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-54153 jill Tue, 04 Sep 2007 02:37:25 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-54153 our children are 16 and 13 and are in school all day, we live in a simple mobile home and still struggle to make "ends meet" my husband and i and our children work hard everyday to keep the household chores done and such. in the world that we live in i would feel terribe to lay all the financial burden on my husbands shoulders when i am perfectly capable of contributing while the kids are in school anyway! we both teach our children christian values and want them to have happy families someday of their own. i know to many homeschool mothers who are trying to keep their kids in "christian bubbles" out of fear of the world. this world is a tough place to live in with satan on the prowl, thank god we have jesus christ in our hearts to help us every breath of our life. we cant be doing our part if we are all home sitting on the couch eating potato chips all day watching another fine episode of benny hinn! sometimes you just have to follow your heart, and mine tells me that if you dont work you dont eat, and god will lay on your heart where he needs you to be in order to meet the needs of your family and his. our children are 16 and 13 and are in school all day, we live in a simple mobile home and still struggle to make “ends meet” my husband and i and our children work hard everyday to keep the household chores done and such. in the world that we live in i would feel terribe to lay all the financial burden on my husbands shoulders when i am perfectly capable of contributing while the kids are in school anyway! we both teach our children christian values and want them to have happy families someday of their own. i know to many homeschool mothers who are trying to keep their kids in “christian bubbles” out of fear of the world. this world is a tough place to live in with satan on the prowl, thank god we have jesus christ in our hearts to help us every breath of our life. we cant be doing our part if we are all home sitting on the couch eating potato chips all day watching another fine episode of benny hinn! sometimes you just have to follow your heart, and mine tells me that if you dont work you dont eat, and god will lay on your heart where he needs you to be in order to meet the needs of your family and his.

]]> By: Mike G http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-23617 Mike G Wed, 23 May 2007 19:18:07 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-23617 Another question relating to this topic would be whether or not a couple looking to get married should both work. I recently heard on a Christian radio program, according to the pastor on the show, there should be five stipulations before marriage. One being that the woman not have a job as they go into marriage. As me and my fiance are looking to be married soon, this is an important question for us since she is now working. As a note, I might add that once we have children, we have both agreed she will not work. Another question relating to this topic would be whether or not a couple looking to get married should both work. I recently heard on a Christian radio program, according to the pastor on the show, there should be five stipulations before marriage. One being that the woman not have a job as they go into marriage.

As me and my fiance are looking to be married soon, this is an important question for us since she is now working.

As a note, I might add that once we have children, we have both agreed she will not work.

]]> By: Heather http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-7201 Heather Fri, 02 Feb 2007 13:48:40 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-7201 Most of the comments are directed toward a married couple with children. What of a couple who married late in life, have no children and both have careers? Most of the comments are directed toward a married couple with children. What of a couple who married late in life, have no children and both have careers?

]]> By: Judith http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-5282 Judith Thu, 04 Jan 2007 15:09:48 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-5282 As early as deuteronomy the woman in the field is mentioned- the field being the major corporation in that day. The tradition and culture of the Bible must be considered in the translation. Just as use of the 'towel' in Christ's feet washing and the 'loin' cloth in Peter to represent other modern-day equivalent, let's translate the 'culture' to today's equivalent. When Jesus said go in the world, he did not specify men, and indeed He rained down the gifts on men and women in the upperroom. This 'light' they received in the upper room should not be hidden under table ie the man's status. As early as deuteronomy the woman in the field is mentioned- the field being the major corporation in that day. The tradition and culture of the Bible must be considered in the translation. Just as use of the ‘towel’ in Christ’s feet washing and the ‘loin’ cloth in Peter to represent other modern-day equivalent, let’s translate the ‘culture’ to today’s equivalent.

When Jesus said go in the world, he did not specify men, and indeed He rained down the gifts on men and women in the upperroom. This ‘light’ they received in the upper room should not be hidden under table ie the man’s status.

]]> By: Mary M http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-5185 Mary M Tue, 02 Jan 2007 17:53:04 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-5185 I must echo Thomas Twitchell's comments. I see in many of the other comments a presumption that if a woman is working, then the family is chasing after a two income lifestyle and neglecting the family. That presumption is not warranted and not true, even of solidly Christian families. My husband and I have a household situtation quite similar to Thomas'. I am blessed with a professional degree and more importantly professional skills, gifted from God, which enable me to make a comfortable financial living for my family. My husband is gifted with financial management skills, household repair and management skills, and most importantly the gift of teaching our sons, now teenage and pre-teen how to be well-educated, Godly men. He runs the household, homeschools our sons and oversees their activities, makes repairs and is available for ministry opportunities and service at church. He is using his gifts to the greatest advantage, as am I. He is the head of the household regardless of who brings in the financial income. I work and a paycheck is deposited into our joint account twice a month, and that is the extent of my knowledge of our household management. The rest is subject to my husband's faithful leadership. We have sought God's leading throughout, and we have been blessed immensely with innumerable opportunities,chief of which is the opportunity for me to use my God-given talents working for a ministry that puts me on the front lines in the culture war and enables me to make a visible difference in stemming the degradation of our culture. God has blessed our choices throughout, including moving us to a part of the country where we can be better stewards of our time, talents and resources and can better provide for our sons' future service in the Lord. I have felt the Holy Spirit's conviction in many aspects of my life, but not in this choice. I am certainly not against women remaining at home and the husband working, and would take on that role myself if my husband and I truly believed that was what God intended for us. However, I believe that part of our freedom in Christ is the freedom to respond and obey God's call in whatever form that takes, even if it is "unconventional" in the eyes of some. I must echo Thomas Twitchell’s comments. I see in many of the other comments a presumption that if a woman is working, then the family is chasing after a two income lifestyle and neglecting the family. That presumption is not warranted and not true, even of solidly Christian families. My husband and I have a household situtation quite similar to Thomas’. I am blessed with a professional degree and more importantly professional skills, gifted from God, which enable me to make a comfortable financial living for my family. My husband is gifted with financial management skills, household repair and management skills, and most importantly the gift of teaching our sons, now teenage and pre-teen how to be well-educated, Godly men. He runs the household, homeschools our sons and oversees their activities, makes repairs and is available for ministry opportunities and service at church. He is using his gifts to the greatest advantage, as am I. He is the head of the household regardless of who brings in the financial income. I work and a paycheck is deposited into our joint account twice a month, and that is the extent of my knowledge of our household management. The rest is subject to my husband’s faithful leadership. We have sought God’s leading throughout, and we have been blessed immensely with innumerable opportunities,chief of which is the opportunity for me to use my God-given talents working for a ministry that puts me on the front lines in the culture war and enables me to make a visible difference in stemming the degradation of our culture. God has blessed our choices throughout, including moving us to a part of the country where we can be better stewards of our time, talents and resources and can better provide for our sons’ future service in the Lord. I have felt the Holy Spirit’s conviction in many aspects of my life, but not in this choice.

I am certainly not against women remaining at home and the husband working, and would take on that role myself if my husband and I truly believed that was what God intended for us. However, I believe that part of our freedom in Christ is the freedom to respond and obey God’s call in whatever form that takes, even if it is “unconventional” in the eyes of some.

]]> By: Joyce Burrows http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/comment-page-1/#comment-4986 Joyce Burrows Fri, 29 Dec 2006 15:03:45 +0000 http://www.sfpulpit.com/2006/12/26/is-it-wrong-for-wives-to-work/#comment-4986 Emily, I'm not assuming a model; the model is in the Bible that was given us where the Lord desires to conform us up to it rather than His compromising to let us remain where we are when off mark concerning leadership in the Body of Christ and the home. Husbands can be lovingly encouraged to be what God wants them to be, without nagging, too(been there and did that in early married years). The way He's worked in our home is the less focus and talking by me concerning shortfalls of hubby with "the model" and more on submitting to being a Mary when it comes to study and letting the Lord change me...well, there has been a ripple outward effect that amazes me and blesses us all. :-) Rich, I'm glad you shared that title; a similar line of thought was written by Nancy Lee DeMoss in <em>Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free</em>. Have enjoyed discussing yet don't want to monopolize. Emily, I’m not assuming a model; the model is in the Bible that was given us where the Lord desires to conform us up to it rather than His compromising to let us remain where we are when off mark concerning leadership in the Body of Christ and the home. Husbands can be lovingly encouraged to be what God wants them to be, without nagging, too(been there and did that in early married years). The way He’s worked in our home is the less focus and talking by me concerning shortfalls of hubby with “the model” and more on submitting to being a Mary when it comes to study and letting the Lord change me…well, there has been a ripple outward effect that amazes me and blesses us all. :-)

Rich, I’m glad you shared that title; a similar line of thought was written by Nancy Lee DeMoss in Lies Women Believe and the Truth that Sets Them Free.

Have enjoyed discussing yet don’t want to monopolize.

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