Comments on: When Should People Leave Their Church?

By: Ann

Ann — Wed, 08 Aug 2007 15:10:15 +0000

I just found this website when searching for answers and thoughts on the seeker-friendly churh. I have just left a church I attended for 8 years that became seeker-friendly about 5 to 6 years ago. When I asked the pastor what that meant the explanation never quit settled in my spirit. Vowing I wouldn’t be a church hopper I stayed and tried to serve that body of Christ using my gifts and talents but after a few years I began seeing how people and there visions being shut down or toned down in order not to offend. Even certain scripture verses that used language like “being born again” were needed to be worded differently because we were told, you don’t know where the readers were in their understanding of God’s Word and we don’t want to turn them off.Prominent people in the church were leaving, many hurt, because they attempted to confront the pastor on their struggles with where the church was going. I also went to the pastor trying to share with him that my heart was tormented over the hurt that so many had experienced and that I had lost trust in my pastor’s vision. I could no longer hear the heart of my shepherd. Before I could explain I was told if I couldn’t trust the pastor I need to leave the church. I was broken but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had shut the door for me. It is very hard leaving behind Godly people that have spoken truth into my life and prayed me through some very hard times.I also have 4 children in toe who are grieving over the loss. I appreciate the shared insights I have read so far. I want to see Jesus lifted high and Jesus drawing men to God not gimmicks and multi-media technology. God said if He be lifted up He will draw all men unto Him.I am resting in Him and will soon be out there looking for a church again.I am a little afraid of trusting again but I believe God will direct my path. Thank you

By: Michelle

Michelle — Thu, 01 Mar 2007 18:26:11 +0000

I have a member that has left one ministry to join another to serve as a minister/elder. The formal pastor has given a letter of recommendation to the program on this members behalf, however, the formal pastor stated that this member is disobedient to leadership, abusive to children, have a criminal record and community connection is destroyed. How do I handle a situation such as this? Is there any bibical direction you can give me?

By: Linda

Linda — Tue, 06 Feb 2007 12:50:48 +0000

I’ve been attending another church apart from my husband since December. The Pastor is an alumni from The Master’s Seminary. I’m growing and being fed, but I still have guilt about attending elsewhere, apart from my husband. How do you balance obedience to your husband and obedience to God? The church my husband attends is looking for a Pastor, but the visiting speaker lately has been a gentleman that is a member of a local Calvary Chapel. They are associated with Chuck Smith’s ministry in CA. If you wouldn’t attend a Calvary Chapel yourself, what business does this man have standing in the pulpit?
Any feedback from Pastors or whoever would be appreciated!! Thank you!

By: Lisa

Lisa — Thu, 14 Dec 2006 00:04:57 +0000

Linda, I beleive we should follow God and wait on him.
My desire is so strong to go to a church where the
bible is being taught,but I don’t believe that God wants us to be just anywhere. Don’t give up. Continue
to pray because God knows your heart. And as far as
your husband again God knows your heart and the heart
of your husband. In the end we must all give an account for ourselves. God said love him first. I know
that God desires for us to worship together as a family..Be blessed.

By: Linda Walter

Linda Walter — Wed, 13 Dec 2006 17:09:22 +0000

Here’s my dilema. I am considering leaving my church. Our congregation is a result of a church split when our senior pastor fell into adulterous sin. Those of us who left the church sought comfort in continued fellowship and forming our own church. We are an independent Baptist church. We have men who serve as trustees who are trying to establish this church, but there are no deacons or elders. We have an interim Pastor, but these men are seeking someone else as we are not being challenged or fed. They are all great guys, but some are new believers, and others don’t rule their own houses well, and therefore don’t meet the qualifications set forth in 1 Tim. 3. I do not believe some of these men should be in leadership, just as children should not make decisions for families, let alone make decisions for a church congregation. My husband is a trustee; that’s the difficult part. What should I do? Isn’t it better to obey God than man? Help!!

By: Jesus Preached Compassion AND Repentance » Strangers and Exiles

Jesus Preached Compassion AND Repentance » Strangers and Exiles — Thu, 30 Nov 2006 02:51:28 +0000

[...] So, what would I do if I attended a church like this? John MacArthur gives some sound advice about a when Christian should seek another church here. Lastly, there are those (here)who would argue that some expressions of compassion are hardly Godly in their origin. « Pulpit Magazine – Emerging Church Series | [...]

By: Seth McBee

Seth McBee — Mon, 27 Nov 2006 17:23:16 +0000

Dave and Lisa.
This is why the “answer” is not black and white. Have you ever thought of moving to an area that has a good church? Isn’t it better to follow God’s word than staying where “you are used to?”

I know some might say, “this is where I grew up” or “I have family here” or “I have a job here” but I would contend that a church home is far more important than any of these things mentioned above.

Move or drive until you find a church that is not only right in their theology in mind but also in action.

By: Lisa

Lisa — Sun, 26 Nov 2006 19:14:03 +0000

I HAVE READ EVERYONE’S RESPONSES AND HAVE FELT YOUR
PAIN. I LEFT MY CHURCH AND HAVE NOT REJOINED ANYWHERE
IN OVER A YEAR. I HAVE COME TO A PLACE WHERE I DON’T
EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START LOOKING. WE HAVE VISITED A
FEW, BUT ALL WERE SO SEEKER FRIENDLY.MY SISTER IS ATTENDING A CHURCH WHERE THEY HAVE A LOT OF WOMEN
PREACHERS AND SHE CONSTANTLY ASK ME TO COME,BUT I FEEL
THIS IS SO CONTRARY TO THE WORD OF GOD. I PRAY THAT THE
LORD WILL GUIDE EACH ONE IN THE RIGHT DECISION. AND I
PRAY THAT GOD WILL LEAD ME TO A BIBLE BELEVING CHURCH.

I TRULY THANK GOD FOR USING JOHN MACARTHUR TO PREACH
THE UNCOMPROSMISING TRUTH.

By: Dave

Dave — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 22:51:39 +0000

as a late-comer to the discussion, would welcome others views …..
What about where the church is sound (in name and doctrine) but where there is no life, no joy, no thanksgiving? Where there is (currently) no pastor, so the ministry is from a succession of visitors with no knowledge of the flock? Where legalism and tradition rule, but there is nothing wrong THEOLOGICALLY that you can point to as a ground for moving (after many years)? Where those in authority do not see any need for pastoral care for individual sheep, seem to feel no compassion, and where the flock feel meaningful communication with them is impossible? Where all is duty not delight? Where the church is an organisation rather than a living organism? Where the last sentence of Rev 3:1 may well be relevant? When is enough ENOUGH?

By: Josh

Josh — Fri, 24 Nov 2006 19:54:32 +0000

So is it better to leave a church–under those circumstances–and not attend at all or stay with the best of what’s available? Anymore it seems to be like voting for President–you kind of have to pick the one thats going to do the least amount of damage.

Josh
“…the word of God is not bound.”–2 Timothy 2:9