When Should People Leave Their Church?
November 17th, 2006
(By John MacArthur)
Leaving a church is not something that should be done lightly. Too many people abandon churches for petty reasons. Disagreements over simple matters of preference are never a good reason to withdraw from a sound, Bible-believing church. Christians are commanded to respect, honor, and obey those whom God has placed in positions of leadership in the church (Heb.13:7, 17). However, there are times when it becomes necessary to leave a church for the sake of one’s own conscience, or out of a duty to obey God rather than men. Such circumstances would include:
If heresy on some fundamental truth is being taught from the pulpit (Gal. 1:7-9).
If the leaders of the church tolerate seriously errant doctrine from any who are given teaching authority in the fellowship (Rom. 16:17).
If the church is characterized by a wanton disregard for Scripture, such as a refusal to discipline members who are sinning blatantly (1 Cor. 5:1-7).
If unholy living is tolerated in the church (1 Cor. 5:9-11).
If the church is seriously out of step with the biblical pattern for the church (2 Thess. 3:6, 14).
If the church is marked by gross hypocrisy, giving lip service to biblical Christianity but refusing to acknowledge its true power (2 Tim. 3:5).
This is not to suggest that these are the only circumstances under which people are permitted to leave a church. There is certainly nothing wrong with moving one’s membership just because another church offers better teaching or more opportunities for growth and service. But those who transfer their membership for such reasons ought to take extreme care not to sow discord or division in the church they are leaving. And such moves ought to be made sparingly. Membership in a church is a commitment that ought to be taken seriously.
I’ll have to link this post – great things to consider. It’s amazing what petty things I’ve seen people leave my church for. It’s as if they were just waiting for the excuse.
How about if they don’t faithfully exposit all of the Word in context, leading to error like replacement theology and charismaticism? What if, further, they go out of their way to hide certain aspects of their beliefs from their congregants, believing the ‘masses’ don’t need to know everything, and believing themselves to have a need for control over their ‘church’ – that they have the ultimate truth on the Scriptures and if you question them but don’t come around to their way of thinking you might as well just find yourself another church (ie, believing themselves to have THE truth, they will not accept correction or rebuke)?
Not taking the Bible in a contextual-literal approach is what leads to the majority of error and cults out there. When it becomes essentially ‘do as you will’ to interpret the Scriptures, heresy is ready and waiting. When you add in secular business practices to help keep things running, entertainment to draw in the unsaved, and use peer pressure and small groups that are more therapy sessions than Bible study, you ensure members will have a hard time leaving.
Then on top of these things, preach a gospel that rarely if ever delves deeply into the important first parts of the true gospel such as the holiness of God, the depravity of man, and the wrath due him for his sin against God, without which one cannot truly understand God’s mercy, love, and grace in providing a Savior – and a Savior that is also the believer’s Lord. (But by skimming over them quickly, the gospel is appealing to a greater audience.)
While we’re at it, throw in the Alpha course with its almost-gospel and deviant charismanic “spirit-filled weekend”.
Sort of a psychologized version of the church growth movement with a charismatic flair.
That’s the kind of church I left. Dr. MacArthur should be able to figure out which church this is, though most of this description is probably unbeknownst to him, being that they do their best to appear only and ever “cross-centered” and keeping their gospel as “the main thing”.
While many things they do are well-intentioned, there appears to be another layer to the leadership that if one digs enough they would find.
Curiously, the most recent book released by the former senior pastor seems to focus on the very aspects of the gospel that seemed absent from the pulpit during the years I was there.
Questions that come to mind: Does this book proclaim the true gospel? Assuming it does, does a book make up for a lack of preaching it from the pulpit?
Maybe it is a refocusing on the true gospel that will impact the church’s leadership and the preaching, and if so that is a reason for great joy!
Or is it simply saying what observers such as myself want to hear from them while the preachers and teachers in the church continue to take a tangential tack?
May God have mercy on each of us for our shortcomings and may He graciously correct those who are being lured away from preaching the offensive truth of the gospel of Jesus Christ.
Thank you Dr. Johnny Mac!!!!!
The seeker friendly movement has mistake the “Bride of Christ” for something other than Scripture suggests. I believe that the Church is to be very seeker friendly outside the walls of corporate worship!
I’m in a situation right now where we have been reviewing sticky issues on Wednesday nights and we just covered Eternal Security. The position taught from the pulpit was that in essence if you are “in His hand nothing can take you out of it, but yourself” – so if you’re in it, then keep following Him, but the message was taught quite clearly and emphatically that you could walk away from your Salvation. Would this be considered a heresy on a fundamental truth or is this something on which we should just “agree to disagree”?
I’ve been blessed in this by your teaching John and cannot thank you enough for everything you do, it was a reference of yours to Eph. 1:14 that gave me great peace Wednesday night after a difficult evening and for that I am also grateful. It is my thought that this really undermines the Sovereignty of God in Salvation and Election as well as the perseverence of the Saints, but I would greatly appreciate some advice on this if anyone can provide it. Many thanks in advance.
God Bless You,
Bill
[...] Pulpit Live has posted a helpful answer to a question that I often hear from folks who are in a church that is not upholding the truth. Folks struggle with why and when they should leave. Some people end up staying with a church that proclaims a false gospel under the guise of being a ‘missionary’ however, in doing so they undermine the command of God to not be ‘unequally yoked’ together with unbelievers (2 Cor. 6.14). Believers need the gospel to not only be saved but also to grow, if it is veiled then growth is stunted and God is undermined. [...]
The church my family attends (and serves in) meets all these circumstances. However, we long for a church that embraces the five points of Calvinism and has a deeper and more expositional approach to Scripture in the pulpit. Yet we’ve invested our lives in our current church for years, and our pastor is a humble, godly man. He differs on a Reformed view on soteriology, resulting in a semi-Arminian position. Thus, we feel called to a nearby church. The question becomes how and when we leave our current church home, knowing it will not be easy, nor understood by most, even when we intend to not sow discord. I am appreciative for your final paragraph above for those reasons.
As a pastor of a small church, this is the one I get all the time: We’re leaving this church because there are “more opportunities for growth and service” at the other one (read: it’s bigger and they have more programs).
I grow weary of this. I teach the Word with great care and strive to continually improve. Frankly, what some larger churches in my area offer from the pulpit is pretty weak and some of it is full of error. But it seems to matter little to many believers. What ever happened to the notion that “this is my church family and I will stay and make this a better church?”
Let’s face it, people who leave large churches are hardly missed unless they’re a part of a mass exodus. When families leave a small church, it hinders the growth of that church.
I trust we all see that this is a fairly new phenomenon in the history of the church and often displays a consumer mindset.
Blessings,
Steve
We have called it sometimes the “revolving door” like we are a hotel instead of a family of believers. When people start to understand that we truly are a body and that you don’t just cut your right arm off because it hurts but you aid it in recovery that is when people will be very careful before they decide to leave. In Galatians 6:1 when it talks of “restoring a brother” it literally means to “mend or adjust” like you would “mend a net” that has been torn or “adjust a broken bone” that has been broken. How can you do this with the body if the broken bones keep leaving?
Very tough in this world of constant change and immediate gratification to ingrain this on the minds of the people.
I do understand that we are a body of believers, but when leadership i.e. Senoir Pastor allows wanton sin to continue and disregard for God’s Word, what then? My family left a church 1 1/2 years ago. It hurt to do so and we still have pain form it to this day, there are people we dearly love still there, but no regrets. I asked the Pastor before leaving about two particular things that concerned me. 1.) He and others refused to exercise church discipline on a memeber who was habitually beating his wife. Myself and another godly man meet with this “wife beater” we follwed Matt 18, he never admitted his guilt (nor repented from it), he feigned a salvation experience. He continued to beat his wife and kept it “hid” better. When this came to light again, I issued a charge of expulsion according to God’s word, and the pastor did nothing. 2.) Proclaiming a truth of scripture from the pulpit, but stating for unity we would not practice the truth. So, with this being done I could not and indeed would not remain at this church. Within the past two weeks we were invited by some friends to come for the 1st service in the new building they had opened. We went for the simple fact that we have love for some of the folks (we did not hardly know anyone so many have left). We found the Youth Group to be in ( if not already past) slippery ground Spiritually. Some, but not all of the group and is in what is called a Punk Rock Christian Band and according to this erring pastor, this is their ministry and outreach, by sharing venues with other secular bands in order to reach the lost. This is as I pointed out to the erring pastor in gross erorr to scripture and all he could say was “I believe” or “I know this” never scritures says. When there are issues such as this, I don’t say just leave the church, but run to do so.
Thanks John! I would encourage all the readers to get Joshua Harris’ book “Stop Dating the Church.” This is an excellent book on this topic!
William Burke asked whether the teaching was heresy or something upon which to agree to disagree. It’s heresy…a different gospel…because it makes an aspect of salvation human effort rather than Divine accomplishment(start to finish He’s the Alpha and Omega). Demon faith(knowledge without being God’s workmanship) versus genuine faith of God. Ephesians 4:30
http://www.biblebb.com/files/mac/90-180.htm
http://www.biblebb.com/files/mac/90-181.htm
Tim…I couldn’t agree with your decision more. That obviously, as one who didn’t have to go through the painful process, is a time when it is time to “dust off your sandals” and go your way. May God have mercy on them for “unifying” the church through not disciplining members.
Thank you Joyce for the response and links, my conviction is in agreement with you and I’ve found many Bible BB links from which I’m going to read up on it, studies and sermons from John and CH Spurgeon on some key Scriptures.
This article is very timely as was the opportunity last month to visit GCC on a day that just happened to be the 50th Anniversary Celebration – what a joy that was.
It is a pleasure sharing, Bill; the Bible BB is a blessing, isn’t it? GTY also has an audio library where those with memberships can listen to sermon messages through books of the New Testament(think there are a very limited selection of Old Testament messages, if memory serves me well). Haven’t utilized that as we’d like and just yesterday ordered the first 12 tapes(cassette) from the book of Titus for family listening. Anticipating those with a grateful heart!
What a precious time of fellowship that must have been to be a part of the 50th anniversary at Grace Community Church…just precious as I know the focus would have been rightly placed.
Bless the Lord; may He continue to richly bless you,
Excellent! I believe far too many people land on the extremes of this issue. One group leaves churches over silly and differences that are insignificant–the other group will stay at a church no matter how erroneous things get. No doubt the LORD longs for us to think Biblically and to prayerfully consider His will in the church we choose.
Thanks for the great thoughts on this important topic.
Matthew Richards
[...] update 11/19: I mentioned leaving the church, and John MacArthur has written a good aid in helping you recognize when that time may be due. [...]
I attend a “seeker friendly” church; I have just came to realize this about a year ago. We just started a new service to accommodate those who feel “uncomfortable” going to church. We started what the church calls the “Venue” A new hip coffee environment for the so-called unchurched. I have struggled with their reason for doing this type of worship. They use 1 Cor. 9:19-25 for this reason. The sermons are topical at best, not much meat behind them. I couldn’t tell you what we really heard today in worship!Besides all that, we do have a heart to reach out and evangelize to the lost. I have stayed because of that very reason and I love the people in my class and church. But, then I thought what happens when we get those that are lost in the church what are they going to hear? I have been approached to lead a class, and excited about that because I love to read and discuss the word. I am thinking that I would be able to bring an expository style to the class. Thats what is missing in our churches, it feel good and unoffensive sermons. We need the Johnny Macs, Spurgeon’s and A.W Pinks in the churches again. So I say all this to express my prayerful concern for myself and other churches like mine. When should you leave? Not all churches are perfect, do you over look one thing for the other?
Mike,
We left a church when it went “seeker sensitive” ten years ago. Your congregation is late to the party — I’m surprised that I’m still hearing about churches just discovering the PD philosophy as if it were the next big thing. If they really wanted to be cutting-edge, they’d have jumped straight into the Emergent movement.
I don’t mean to sound (too) cynical. But I have a hunch that if you start teaching that class, you’ll find the leadership breathing down your neck to “tone it down”, or worse yet, they’ll replace you very quickly. I hope I’m wrong, but I fear I’m right about this. When church leaders adopt the Purpose Driven philosophy, they are trained in how to marginalize those who won’t get with the program.
Don’t waste your time and effort there. It’s a lost cause. Start looking elsewhere for solid biblical teaching. You can stay on good terms with individuals in your current church family — it’s actually a lot easier to do if you leave quietly and answer questions as they arise, rather than getting into a lot of heated discussions with elders who have no intention of heeding your warnings.
Think about it — they’ve gone to the trouble of setting up *and naming* the Venue. Don’t underestimate the amount of ego involved for TPTB in starting a new program like this. They will not admit to you that they’re making a mistake (even if they realize it when you confront them).
BTDT.
Mike-
I think that the advice of Silly Old Mom may be right on point. I would like to add one further consideration about your situation that may be of concern. You said, “…we do have a heart to reach out and evangelize to the lost…” My concern is that a church that has embraced the seeker sensitive model may be presenting an inadequate gospel – and thus, a false gospel. Generally, a seeker sensitive church is wanting to appeal to the world’s felt needs. In keeping with this, they often present the gospel as an answer to those needs (i.e. “Do you have problems and needs? Come to Jesus and He will solve those problems and provide those needs”). This type of approach usually presents a gospel devoid of the need for repentance. You asked, “[T]hen I thought what happens when we get those that are lost in the church what are they going to hear?” My question is, are those same people really experiencing true regeneration in the first place? Are they truly in the body of Christ or are they just in church?
I pray that the Lord will guide you in making this important decision and give you confident peace in your course of action.
Mike.
Instead of just accepting that it is a “lost cause” I would approach the elders to let them know what you plan on doing. If the discussion is a good one I would try and continue. The hard thing is that I believe what they are doing with this “church service” of entertaining those who are uncomfortable with church is wrong. Church is for the worship of Christ by His people. It (the Church)is never mentioned to reach the lost but to defend the truth, to build up, to admonish, to exhort. Our job as the church is to go OUT and evangelize.
You are definitely in a tough situation but I would go to the elders and tell them your plan with the class and also confront them with the errors you see. Don’t just leave the church without talking specifically to the elders of the church.
I appreciate all the advice and counsel. I will take all the advice and pray about it. Something else came up this past Sunday in class, my wife did not tell me until after church was over. I was shocked and very angry. When one of the wife’s class leader mentioned to my wife that she will be dropping off some books for me to look over for future lesson’s. My wife explained she would be helping a friend in church from another Sunday school class that morning she wanted to come by, well to my surprise she told my wife that she has new commitments and that she should take this as a grain of salt!! My wife was very upset and offended, and she plans on talking to her and to clarify if she meant it the wife it was received! I am waiting to approach her husband about this matter, until my wife talks to her privately. Hopefully it is a misunderstanding. Anyways, i will be meeting with the pastor that handles education. I want exhaust every effort before we start looking around. John Macarthur is right when he said, “such moves ought to be made sparingly. Membership in a church is a commitment that ought to be taken seriously.” Seth Mcbee I do think your right I should make the effort before I do anything. I would like to incorporate one of Macarthur’s bible studies in the class, so I would like to try. Thanks for your wonderful comments and have a Happy Thanksgiving.
So is it better to leave a church–under those circumstances–and not attend at all or stay with the best of what’s available? Anymore it seems to be like voting for President–you kind of have to pick the one thats going to do the least amount of damage.
Josh
“…the word of God is not bound.”–2 Timothy 2:9
as a late-comer to the discussion, would welcome others views …..
What about where the church is sound (in name and doctrine) but where there is no life, no joy, no thanksgiving? Where there is (currently) no pastor, so the ministry is from a succession of visitors with no knowledge of the flock? Where legalism and tradition rule, but there is nothing wrong THEOLOGICALLY that you can point to as a ground for moving (after many years)? Where those in authority do not see any need for pastoral care for individual sheep, seem to feel no compassion, and where the flock feel meaningful communication with them is impossible? Where all is duty not delight? Where the church is an organisation rather than a living organism? Where the last sentence of Rev 3:1 may well be relevant? When is enough ENOUGH?
I HAVE READ EVERYONE’S RESPONSES AND HAVE FELT YOUR
PAIN. I LEFT MY CHURCH AND HAVE NOT REJOINED ANYWHERE
IN OVER A YEAR. I HAVE COME TO A PLACE WHERE I DON’T
EVEN KNOW WHERE TO START LOOKING. WE HAVE VISITED A
FEW, BUT ALL WERE SO SEEKER FRIENDLY.MY SISTER IS ATTENDING A CHURCH WHERE THEY HAVE A LOT OF WOMEN
PREACHERS AND SHE CONSTANTLY ASK ME TO COME,BUT I FEEL
THIS IS SO CONTRARY TO THE WORD OF GOD. I PRAY THAT THE
LORD WILL GUIDE EACH ONE IN THE RIGHT DECISION. AND I
PRAY THAT GOD WILL LEAD ME TO A BIBLE BELEVING CHURCH.
I TRULY THANK GOD FOR USING JOHN MACARTHUR TO PREACH
THE UNCOMPROSMISING TRUTH.
Dave and Lisa.
This is why the “answer” is not black and white. Have you ever thought of moving to an area that has a good church? Isn’t it better to follow God’s word than staying where “you are used to?”
I know some might say, “this is where I grew up” or “I have family here” or “I have a job here” but I would contend that a church home is far more important than any of these things mentioned above.
Move or drive until you find a church that is not only right in their theology in mind but also in action.
[...] So, what would I do if I attended a church like this? John MacArthur gives some sound advice about a when Christian should seek another church here. Lastly, there are those (here)who would argue that some expressions of compassion are hardly Godly in their origin. « Pulpit Magazine – Emerging Church Series | [...]
Here’s my dilema. I am considering leaving my church. Our congregation is a result of a church split when our senior pastor fell into adulterous sin. Those of us who left the church sought comfort in continued fellowship and forming our own church. We are an independent Baptist church. We have men who serve as trustees who are trying to establish this church, but there are no deacons or elders. We have an interim Pastor, but these men are seeking someone else as we are not being challenged or fed. They are all great guys, but some are new believers, and others don’t rule their own houses well, and therefore don’t meet the qualifications set forth in 1 Tim. 3. I do not believe some of these men should be in leadership, just as children should not make decisions for families, let alone make decisions for a church congregation. My husband is a trustee; that’s the difficult part. What should I do? Isn’t it better to obey God than man? Help!!
Linda, I beleive we should follow God and wait on him.
My desire is so strong to go to a church where the
bible is being taught,but I don’t believe that God wants us to be just anywhere. Don’t give up. Continue
to pray because God knows your heart. And as far as
your husband again God knows your heart and the heart
of your husband. In the end we must all give an account for ourselves. God said love him first. I know
that God desires for us to worship together as a family..Be blessed.
I’ve been attending another church apart from my husband since December. The Pastor is an alumni from The Master’s Seminary. I’m growing and being fed, but I still have guilt about attending elsewhere, apart from my husband. How do you balance obedience to your husband and obedience to God? The church my husband attends is looking for a Pastor, but the visiting speaker lately has been a gentleman that is a member of a local Calvary Chapel. They are associated with Chuck Smith’s ministry in CA. If you wouldn’t attend a Calvary Chapel yourself, what business does this man have standing in the pulpit?
Any feedback from Pastors or whoever would be appreciated!! Thank you!
I have a member that has left one ministry to join another to serve as a minister/elder. The formal pastor has given a letter of recommendation to the program on this members behalf, however, the formal pastor stated that this member is disobedient to leadership, abusive to children, have a criminal record and community connection is destroyed. How do I handle a situation such as this? Is there any bibical direction you can give me?
I just found this website when searching for answers and thoughts on the seeker-friendly churh. I have just left a church I attended for 8 years that became seeker-friendly about 5 to 6 years ago. When I asked the pastor what that meant the explanation never quit settled in my spirit. Vowing I wouldn’t be a church hopper I stayed and tried to serve that body of Christ using my gifts and talents but after a few years I began seeing how people and there visions being shut down or toned down in order not to offend. Even certain scripture verses that used language like “being born again” were needed to be worded differently because we were told, you don’t know where the readers were in their understanding of God’s Word and we don’t want to turn them off.Prominent people in the church were leaving, many hurt, because they attempted to confront the pastor on their struggles with where the church was going. I also went to the pastor trying to share with him that my heart was tormented over the hurt that so many had experienced and that I had lost trust in my pastor’s vision. I could no longer hear the heart of my shepherd. Before I could explain I was told if I couldn’t trust the pastor I need to leave the church. I was broken but I knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that God had shut the door for me. It is very hard leaving behind Godly people that have spoken truth into my life and prayed me through some very hard times.I also have 4 children in toe who are grieving over the loss. I appreciate the shared insights I have read so far. I want to see Jesus lifted high and Jesus drawing men to God not gimmicks and multi-media technology. God said if He be lifted up He will draw all men unto Him.I am resting in Him and will soon be out there looking for a church again.I am a little afraid of trusting again but I believe God will direct my path. Thank you