Comments on: Let ‘Em Know or Let It Go?

By: Rick T

Rick T — Mon, 26 Jan 2009 05:55:22 +0000

Here are some thoughts I have after some years of engaging this delicate issue.
1. While I think what MacArthur says is excellent and very practical, I have found that there are times when I sense the Lord leading me to talk to someone about a smaller infraction in their life (one not harmful to anyone). I sense that the issue is small and in a sense petty, but I think He wants me to still let them know it exists. When I asked for wisdom on a specifically small matter I was reminded of the imperative (infinitive) in Matthew 7 about “removing the speck from a brother’s eye.” If our eyes are clear of planks than we are obligated, at times (key word), to remove the “speck” (“splinter”) from our brother’s eye. It seems, according to me, to define “speck” as a smaller moral defect. However, it is interesting to note that Jesus might have been using hyperbole, in which case, He was contrasting large and small to get the point across not to make us looking for specks everywhere. So the speck might be considered larger in relation to reality.
2. Matthew 18:15-20 is interesting because in light of the previous verses, there seems to be some connection between “If your brother sins” and the fact that God wants us to go after sheep who are “led astray” (“deceived”) or in danger of being lost. So, perhaps there are some sins that definitely require confrontation because they are flagrant, open, public, or detrimental to themselves or others. I have been in situations where someone was clearly not willing to obey the governing authorities and I mentioned their behavior to them with 2 Scriptural proofs and they refused to hear me and it seemed right to take another along with me to “establish every matter by the testimony of 2 or 3 witnesses.”
3. Galatians 6:1,2 Brothers, if someone is caught (or “overtaken” in other translations) in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted.
Debate within this passage definitely occurs regard “caught” meaning someone caught them or they were caught/overtaken/entangled by the sin and need help being “restored.” It seems that the context shows that the latter is in view here. Why? (Wuest is good here) Because earlier in the letter Paul says: “Who has bewitched you?” (3:1) This implies, as does the context, that they were trapped or caught unaware by some trespass. And in context, it was the false teaching of the Judaizers. The Judaizers were mixing law and grace, circumcision and Christ, and were overtaken subtly by the deception to the point that they had “fallen from grace.” Does that sound like someone was “caught in the act of any trespass” or that they were overtaken by the act(s) itself? The latter sounds best in my view. It is interesting to note that those who are “spiritual” are to restore the one erring. Some people note that this is any Christian who detects the sin and perhaps others think (as do I) that this refers to someone capable of “restoring them” (verb is continuous), i.e. a spiritually mature Christian. Why say this? Look at verse 2. The spiritual one is be careful lest he be entangled by the sin as well. Any Christian, especially a new convert, should not try to help someone entangled in false doctrine.

Now here are some thoughts on forbear one another’s faults and overlooking transgressions.

1. Paul says that we are to “be patient with one another, forbearing one another…” (Eph 4:31-32 and Col 3:13 Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.). Using the same word, he says to the Corinthians to “put up with a little of his foolishness” as he explains something to them (11:1). He says this to get their attention about what he is writing, but it is interesting to note that the principle behind the thought is true and is an example for us. Certain things that might be foolish in another require forbearing and overlooking by us. One of the verbs has the idea of letting your anger go long before giving to any reaction to its source. Romans 15:1 tells the strong to “bear with the failings of the weak.”
2. It is also worthy to note 2 Timothy 4:2. “preach the word; be ready in season and out of season; reprove, rebuke, exhort, with great patience and instruction.”
There are times when might have to rebuke another and they might hear us but sort of fall short in really turning the other direction and we might wrestle with whether we need to take another along with us and go to the next step. Sometimes, this might be where you exhibit rebuking “with all patience.” John MacArthur somewhere said: “People rarely turn on a dime” so the preacher, and by extension the believer, must be patient when rebuking. Isn’t that how God is with us?
3. 1 Peter 4:8 Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.
Remember that this church was suffering great persecution and the temptation might have been to be nitpicky towards each other, especially since the pressure was on. Keener would say this is where we must “cover” or “throw a blanket over” many sins that might be against us or not. Others would say it only refers to sins against us and not retaliating, but it seems interesting that a sin is a sin whether it is against us or not. If is minor and against us it is still minor. And if it is minor and not against us it is still minor.
4. “Do not be overly righteous, and die before your time.” Ecc 7:16
Interesting words from Solomon, which might be helpful to those contstantly seeing the pecadillos of others. God wants you to know your limits in some sense regarding these things.

I hope that some of these thoughts are helpful and would appreciate your responses.

Rick T

By: Seth McBee

Seth McBee — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 04:08:14 +0000

That is when we must understand who we really sin against and David points to that after he sleeps with Bathsheba and murders Uriah. Instead of apologizing to Bathsheba or Uriah’s family David writes what we know as Psalm 51 and says, “Against You, and You alone, God, have I sinned” It is good to ask and seek forgiveness from the individual but we must understand that really only sin against God’s holiness not man’s.

If restoration is not wanted by the person offended we should back off and not make things worse. Even if it was taken out of context. Make the point then move on after you have sought genuine reconciliation. Also, writing letters can also help so that the person doesn’t feel “attacked” to some degree.

By: Debbie Wimmers

Debbie Wimmers — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 22:28:09 +0000

If a person says something that is taken out of context and the other person interprets it the wrong way and tells the 1st person to avoid him and not to speak to him, How can the 1st person reconcile the misunderstanding if he is not allowed to speak to that person. The first person feels he is not responsible for the offense but asks for forgiveness anyway. How can he feel forgiven?

By: Seth McBee

Seth McBee — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 21:34:07 +0000

Lane.
Good thought and good question, it is sometimes hard to tell when it is the flesh being unwilling or the Spirit convicting.

In the end I guess we just give it over to God and know that He is sovereign.

By: Lane Keister

Lane Keister — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 19:27:15 +0000

To Seth, of course you are right. No one can forgive without the power of the Holy Spirit. But being unwilling to forget is sometimes God’s way of telling us that reconciliation is necessary. I guess that was my point.

By: Joyce Burrows

Joyce Burrows — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 11:28:06 +0000

Dear Steve,

Your sharing the book suggestion is very appreciated; it will be very helpful! God bless you, too…

Because of Jesus,
Joyce

By: George Fernandez

George Fernandez — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 21:09:16 +0000

What am I supposed to do in a situation where I as well as church leadership have approached a believer about their sin, and there has been no repentance, and the church has not pursued any disciplinary action. This believer is in open rebellion in refusing to forgive and reconcile with her spouse. She has chosen to view the marriage as non-existant, but openly states that she is right with God. How can that be? And is it right for the church to not intervene?

Please advise.

By: When To Confront and When Not To? « Pastor’s Blog

When To Confront and When Not To? « Pastor’s Blog — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 20:51:44 +0000

[...] This is a question that we Christians all struggle with, yet not all Christians know the answer and apply it appropriately. Hence, I would like for you to read an excellent article Let ‘Em Know or Let It Go? [...]

By: Forgiveness - MacArthur at FoolishBlog

Forgiveness - MacArthur at FoolishBlog — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 19:55:43 +0000

[...] John MacArthur on when to forgive and forget vs. when to forgive and forget. Filed under: Asides | Tags: No Tags [...]

By: Seth McBee

Seth McBee — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 18:21:48 +0000

Lane
My first inclination to your question of “only when someone can truly forgive and forget” I honestly don’t think we can do this without Christ, so no one can forgive and forget without Christ and without the realization of what He did for us on the cross. We can only truly forgive when we get to a point in our lives like Isaiah did when he saw the holiness of Christ in Isaiah 6; only when he realized his sin in the midst of Christ was he able to realize his sin and then have the gift of forgiveness.

I would say that whether or not you feel you can forgive and forget you should rely on Christ to have you do this. So, if, like MacArthur says, it is “petty” you should allow “love to cover a multitude of sins” and rely on Christ’s power and not your flesh.

Make sense? Just a thought. Apart from Him we can do nothing…John 15